Ehud Olmert Office of the Prime Minister 3 Kaplan St. Hakiyra, Jerusalem 91919
Dear Ehud,
My hearty congratulations to you and your fellow Zionists! You sure know how to contain those infernal camel jockeys infesting your Holy Land. A man can't help but admire your fierce determination to keep that pack of maggots from maturing into a full blown infestation of flies.
But I have to tell you that despite my reverence for you and your cause, I have concluded that you folks are going about this the wrong way. You've infuriated most of the Arab and Islamic world, the UN is constantly assailing you, and untold numbers of liberal (excuse my language) pussies are calling for my great nation to stop funding your good work. By persistently applying those ruthless, heavy-handed tactics to rein in your inferiors, you're borrowing trouble faster than our spend-happy government can increase its debts with China and Japan. You are in some deep fecal matter, my friend.
I know our situations are different. We in the United States imported our ineducable criminals. Yours were squatting on your land when you arrived. Yet we both have the same essential problem. Our nations are populated by a large number of lazy, illiterate, and violent beings who stopped evolving somewhere between ape and human. I feel a deep sense of solidarity with you, brother. Therefore, nothing would please me more than to see you manage your horde of savages in a more civilized and humane manner, like us.
The smartest thing we did in the United States was to enslave the Negroids. The existence of chattel slavery for two centuries enabled a very small group of our people to accumulate tremendous amounts of wealth. Under the yoke of servitude, our African underclass had little opportunity to contaminate us with their filth or demand the "humane treatment" your scourge in Gaza and the West Bank clamor for in perpetuity. Unfortunately, overt slavery became untenable with the advent of that sanctimonious Abolitionist movement and the disastrous Civil War.
Ironically though, the emancipation of the slaves was probably the best thing that could have happened. Had we maintained that institution, the United States would have become moral pariahs, like your country.
We found better solutions to our Negro problem. We promised them forty acres and a mule. Boy did we shine in the eyes of the world when we delivered. And who noticed when Congress rescinded the Freedmen's Bureau Act and gave the land back to its rightful owners?
Old Jim Crow rose to towering heights to keep the "free men" in their rightful place. Poll taxes, separate but "equal" institutions, and lynchings (in which we all delighted) committed by radical fringe groups (with the complicity of law enforcement) were just a few of our strategies. We kept our former slaves ignorant, terrorized, impoverished, and politically impotent. What could they do but shuffle along and mumble "yes sir"?
Tragically, some uppity Negroes managed to overcome their innate deficiencies. The small handful that actually manifested some intellect and moral fiber wreaked havoc on a nearly ideal system. Genetic anomalies like W.E.B. DuBois, Martin Luther King, and Malcolm X brought the United States to the brink of insurrection. We had to do something. So we gave our troglodytes the "special rights" they demanded. Rights like voting, sharing public institutions and facilities with the rest of us, living where they wanted to, borrowing money from the lender of their choice, and unfortunately, many more.
But did we give up? Hell no! Like you Zionists, we true Americans are tenacious, clever, and innovative. We were not about to roll over and allow a group of uncivilized, genetically disadvantaged Africans steal our treasure and power.
While the losses of slavery and institutionalized racism were both significant blows, they merely steeled our determination to come up with a more opaque and subtle system of oppression.
Which brings me to the point of my letter, Mr. Olmert. Your current modus operandi is unsustainable. So pay close attention to the next few paragraphs as I delineate the fine art of subjugating a segment of your population while maintaining the appearances of a society based on equality, justice, and all that nonsense.
Jason Miller is a recovering US American middle class suburbanite who strives to remain intellectually free. He is Cyrano's Journal Online's associate editor (http://www.bestcyrano.org/) and publishes Thomas Paine's Corner within Cyrano's at http://www.bestcyrano.org/THOMASPAINE/.
Jason Miller and the style is impecable as usual. Doubt if Israeli Prime- Minister will read this but I am afraid that a lot of 'hot patriots' will read this here, in the US and they will attack Mr. Miller for detraction from the Lynn Cheney's view of history. BTW, here is a red-blooded real American writing all this. That means that not only those 'aliens' see the real picture. Mr. Miller, I envy the good work. It was a delight.
From the Fiery Dog to the colleague
Mark Sashine
by
Mark Sashine (42 articles, 19 quicklinks, 227 diaries, 3219 comments)
on Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 9:03:48 AM
