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March 14, 2008 at 10:06:31

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I AM SO HOT FOR DR. LAURA

by steve young Page 1 of 1 page(s)

www.opednews.com

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Dear Sort of Dr. Laura,

For years I thought you were a jerk. Okay, you had a few hot pictures on the Internet -please don't click here and link onto this site - but you always remained to me, one of those, "yeah, just wait until she opens her mouth" turnoffs.

TThat is until this week.

That's when, on the Today Show and later on Hannity & Colmes, in reference to the Eliot Spitzer dalliances, you blamed wives for their husbands' behavior, saying that the wives of "most men who cheat" "haven't been respecting" their husbands.

Thank you, Doctor. Finally. Someone has had the guts to step up and defend why married guys like to have sex with hookers or anyone else who they're not married to.

While falling for you is a little like falling for Ann Coulter - except without the Nazi paraphernalia - I find it difficult to get you out of my mind. Your words not only rid me of my years of guilt that it was I who was doing something wrong, but now I can actually place the blame on the very person who used to read me the riot act every time I came home at four in the morning reeking of a stranger; a stranger who after finishing three minutes of wet, hot love, I could barely remember her made-up name.

Your words ring in my mind like the words of Howie Dansky, my best friend in six grade, when he told me the new Sears Catalog had just been delivered.

"When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man ... he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs. And these days, women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give their men what they need."

I couldn't have said it better. I tried, but my wife wouldn't buy it from me. But from Dr. Laura, a conservative yet, wow, I'll be able to plug anything that walks. This time when my wife tries to shove the guilt down my throat, I'll be ready.

"My fault?! What are you nuts?! You're the one hasn't been respecting me. What was I supposed to do? Not have sex with a stranger? Then I'd just be disrespecting myself. I bet you'd like that."

So, what do you say, Doctor? Yesterday I'm pretty sure my wife wasn't thinking about what I need. Are you available tonight? Afterwards maybe you can come back to my house with me.

I can't wait until my wife hears that I'm not a scum bag.

Award-winning television writer and author of Great Failures of the Extremely Successful", (www.greatfailure.com), Steve Young's "All The News That's Fit To Spoof" appears in L.A. Daily News opeds every Sunday(www.dailynews.com/columnists) on the same page as O'Reilly's...really.

www.greatfailure.com

A talk show host, author, columnist,award-winning television writer and filmmaker, his inspiring book, "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (Tallfellow Press) has been published internationally and has become required reading in the Wharton School of Business Masters Program. His "All The News That's Fit To Spoof " column appears every Sunday on the L.A. Daily News Oped Page. Steve has appeared all over national TV and radio with his unique brand of satirical punditry and social observations appearing in national periodicals from the Los Angeles Times and The New York Times, to his own weekly Internet column "The Lords Of Loud," at AlbionMonitor.net and The Huffington Post.

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14 comments

Pat Dazis lives in Charlotte North Carolina. She is the mother of five children and grandmother of 6 beautiful grandchildren. Her 12 year old grandson Chris was murdered by his biological father and stepmother in California in 2002. She is on a crusade to bring awareness to the plight of children locked in homes where there is no safety and no love.
Her first priority is to get the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act in each state amended to include Apartment Managers, starting with C...

to see more of bio, click on member name
Pat DazisPat Dazis lives in Charlotte North Carolina. She is the mother of five children and grandmother of 6 beautiful grandchildren. Her 12 year old grandson Chris was murdered by his biological father and stepmother in California in 2002. She is on a crusade to bring awareness to the plight of children locked in homes where there is no safety and no love.
Her first priority is to get the Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act in each state amended to include Apartment Managers, starting with C...

to see more of bio, click on member name

You Win!!

I have a little contest with my email friends I always let them know who gave me the first laugh of the day.. You Win. Seems OP-ED was the first email I opened today. Who would have expected with all the worrisome news I would get my first chuckle right here.

Thanks

by Pat Dazis (1 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 23 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 11:47:12 AM

Professor Bagnolo is a Renaissance man: Cultural Anthropologist, Architectural designer, painter, writer, novelist, theologian. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, with an off the charts IQ, reading at the graduate level by 5th grade, offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8.Later He was a recipient of an Art Institute scholarship at age 11, a Ford Foundation Fellowship in Anthropology and in Painting and a merit scholarship in art, and was appointed a Graduate ...

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Professor Emeritus Peter BagnoloProfessor Bagnolo is a Renaissance man: Cultural Anthropologist, Architectural designer, painter, writer, novelist, theologian. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, with an off the charts IQ, reading at the graduate level by 5th grade, offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8.Later He was a recipient of an Art Institute scholarship at age 11, a Ford Foundation Fellowship in Anthropology and in Painting and a merit scholarship in art, and was appointed a Graduate ...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Polygamy is the answer, always was...

Sorry, but for many men and their wives or lovers, erotica and love seem to fade if it is not kept high on the list of priorities. However, the Perennial "Headache" is not the only problem. Often there are medical problems which keep people from having the urge.

Prostitution is one answer, polygamy is another and better answer for many.

In John 4:4-42 Jesus shows his empathy for the Samaritan woman who had 5 husbands and was living with a man-in an unmarried state, when outs to her his knowledge of her prolific sexual history and then in a surprise to all, and to the dismay of the Fundamentalists, he neither condemns her, nor tells her to "go and sin no more," he simply changes the subject to the clinically different methods of worship of the Jews and Samaritans, ala Josia, which have nothing to do with sex and then he uses her as an apostle to rally the entire town to him. He, whether God or mere prophet, understood completely the problems in marriage and the mitigating circumstances which lead to infidelity.

It may be of interest that Neither God, His Prophets or Jesus ever condemned polygamy, which is the natural state of most animals including man. It became, for most a financial problem and for others a problem of envy against those who could attract many wives. For women it was a selfish envy. Polygamy as a choice eliminates many of the criminal and drug aftermath's of divorce in children because in it, the children are raised by remaining wives and are not latchkey orphans.

Humans disposed of the solution to sexual deprivation.

In the various studies done, in Polygamous relationships in which wives were faithful there were NO STD's. In polyandry relationships there were many STD's; some cancer causing among the women. Having a brain which focuses on envy and jealousy is humankind's downfall.

by Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo (144 articles, 1 quicklinks, 95 diaries, 1311 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 12:02:58 PM

SW Texas ultra-liberal
john riggsSW Texas ultra-liberal

Oh Most noble Bagnolius

See what LARGE letters thou hast written unto me. Thou art clogging up thy blogoshere. Now we lay-persons, no pun intended, cant even afford one old lady, much less two. I would rather share a woman with some other dude and we each could buy her 25 pairs of shoes and not have to foot the bill for fifty. The elite have harems, and harems are not a western tradition. If You can afford it go for it,but remember the fate of Solomon.

by john riggs (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 441 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 1:04:56 PM

I am a freelance writer located in New York City. I am also a Certified Lay Speaker in the Metropolitan District, New York Annual Conference, United Methodist Church. I am considered a Jewish Christian or Christian Jew, whichever you prefer, having been Bar-Mitzvahed in 1970 into the Tribe of Levi (making me a Levite). Plus, I'm the son of a Holocaust Survivor.
Kenneth BarrI am a freelance writer located in New York City. I am also a Certified Lay Speaker in the Metropolitan District, New York Annual Conference, United Methodist Church. I am considered a Jewish Christian or Christian Jew, whichever you prefer, having been Bar-Mitzvahed in 1970 into the Tribe of Levi (making me a Levite). Plus, I'm the son of a Holocaust Survivor.

One is enough

Since I'm on my second marriage, I can say this with total confidence. I find trying to keep up with one at a time is trouble enough. However, those who can should. They are far better men than I!

by Kenneth Barr (8 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 83 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 3:20:34 PM

A writer is a rogue goose. All other gees fly in a flock formation; every goose knows his place and time for honking. The rogue goose is undisciplined. He leaves the formation indiscriminately to have a look at it from aside. He roams back and forth, takes a peep at the leader, honks a little bit from behind, distracts everyone and writes on what he sees. Time passes and as he wants to return back to his place he discovers someone else there. Thus he either has to wait until they land for rest...

to see more of bio, click on member name
Mark SashineA writer is a rogue goose. All other gees fly in a flock formation; every goose knows his place and time for honking. The rogue goose is undisciplined. He leaves the formation indiscriminately to have a look at it from aside. He roams back and forth, takes a peep at the leader, honks a little bit from behind, distracts everyone and writes on what he sees. Time passes and as he wants to return back to his place he discovers someone else there. Thus he either has to wait until they land for rest...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Equality

I would agree with Dr. Laura if she grants a woman the same right to cuckold the husband on the basis that he did not... you know..

by Mark Sashine (54 articles, 19 quicklinks, 252 diaries, 3605 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 12:08:01 PM

Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a weekly publication in Canoga Park, California. In conjunction with the Chronicle, she broadcast a tri-weekly, 10-minute newscast for KGOE AM. Following the closure of the Chronicle, Sand became the editor of the Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier newspapers...

to see more of bio, click on member name
Sandy SandSandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a weekly publication in Canoga Park, California. In conjunction with the Chronicle, she broadcast a tri-weekly, 10-minute newscast for KGOE AM. Following the closure of the Chronicle, Sand became the editor of the Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier newspapers...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Mark

Is there a word for a female cuckhold?

by Sandy Sand (175 articles, 0 quicklinks, 223 diaries, 1503 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 8:10:37 PM

A great tradition

Are you in any way related to Russell Baker?

by Kenneth Barr (8 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 83 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 3:18:17 PM

I am a 47 years old,married and have a 17 year old daughter.My hobbies are bicyling, weight training and off road motorcycling.I have lived in a midwestern red state my entire 46 years.Now that I have reached middle age I have become interested in politics and its related fields of study.I dont often think of things being either liberal or conservative,I like to veiw political events in an objective manner and find the agenda or reason that a bill or policy is brought to bear.Simply put seeking ...

to see more of bio, click on member name
Gary DensonI am a 47 years old,married and have a 17 year old daughter.My hobbies are bicyling, weight training and off road motorcycling.I have lived in a midwestern red state my entire 46 years.Now that I have reached middle age I have become interested in politics and its related fields of study.I dont often think of things being either liberal or conservative,I like to veiw political events in an objective manner and find the agenda or reason that a bill or policy is brought to bear.Simply put seeking ...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Fidelity

I think that anyone who even thinks of cheating on his or her partner should be executed on the spot. The body severed in twain and the bowels removed and burned. Sexual intercourse should only be practiced by married couples seeking to reproduce any other case should be prosecuted.

by Gary Denson (2 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 262 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 5:29:40 PM

A bit severe...

...eh, what?

by Sandy Sand (175 articles, 0 quicklinks, 223 diaries, 1503 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 7:54:17 PM

SW Texas ultra-liberal
john riggsSW Texas ultra-liberal

I think he is,,,

Pliny the younger reincarnated. Dont ask him what he would do to gays or pedophiles, I want to sleep tonight without nightmares. Definitely not the compassionate conservative type. Maybe he just got back from Abu Graib.

by john riggs (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 441 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 9:06:11 PM

No worries, John...

...I won't ask.

by Sandy Sand (175 articles, 0 quicklinks, 223 diaries, 1503 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 11:26:53 PM

P.S.

At first I thought he was kidding or being sarcastic in the extreme until I read the last sentence.

by Sandy Sand (175 articles, 0 quicklinks, 223 diaries, 1503 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 11:29:38 PM

Tom Storey is a father of two with 5 unproduced feature film screenplays to his credit. At age 17, he canvassed the precincts of Newport, Rhode Island on behalf of presidential candidate George McGovern. Tom Has been known to blog supportively for Ron Paul. Tom has spent a life in business.
tom storeyTom Storey is a father of two with 5 unproduced feature film screenplays to his credit. At age 17, he canvassed the precincts of Newport, Rhode Island on behalf of presidential candidate George McGovern. Tom Has been known to blog supportively for Ron Paul. Tom has spent a life in business.

I think this particular discussion

is about an addiction, which anyone could end by using their will.

Anyway, addicts make horrendous decisions based on the power the addicton has over them. Governor's decide that the sex with a hooker is way more important than stuff we might deem important.

Both men and women cheat on each other for whatever their reasons are. If you treat your partner poorly, I must assume, you are risking your partner seeking love and support elsewhere.

It does not seem to be that complicated a matter to me. I am divorced and it has worked out just fine. I can't imagine paying for sex with someone who has sex with lots of other people, talk about hygeine disasters!

I guess Spitzer can't imagine having sex for free with someone who doesn't have sex with anyone else (his wife?).

I fail to see why this is a guy thing. I know plenty of women who treat their husbands/boyfriends like sh%$ and cheat on them. What's the big deal?This all adds up to job security for Dr. Laura. Conservative shrinks have to eat too.

by tom storey (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 2 diaries, 58 comments) on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 5:40:01 PM

Hater of Nazis above all. Hobbies include activism, military model building, military history, exciting and vital conversation with retired crooks. Retired
John HanksHater of Nazis above all. Hobbies include activism, military model building, military history, exciting and vital conversation with retired crooks. Retired

Hookers and Mistresses

The question is not why some men use hookers. The real question is why so many men do not. I suspect it is because they are cheap, or cowardly or they are content to masturbate. I am all three.

by John Hanks (1 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 1409 comments) on Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 10:52:32 AM