OpEdNews Op Eds

Why We Must Stay in Iraq: The Secret White House "They'll Follow us Here" Meeting

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 1 of 1 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It


- Advertisement -
In a closed door meeting with some of his closest advisors (whose names weren't disclosed so that the White House can continue meeting with them without fear of them having to admit they met the President), President Bush revealed the actual secret map he will be forced to give to terrorists if we "fail" in Iraq. "It comes with a complete list of Stuckey's and rest stops along the way, making it far too easy for Al Quaeda or any vacationing, insurgent family to follow us here," said one White House insider. "If we're going to leave Iraq before attaining victory we might as well release all the Al Quaeda cartologists we've been holding in Guantanamo."

"There's no doubt the second these guys get out they'll head straight to Baghdad and start drawing up maps from there to here," said an anonymous Pentagon official.

There were conversations dealing with the creation of what one insider called, "imprecise maps."

"We would have had gas stations in and around Baghdad distribute these faulty maps that would designate Iceland as the United States," said a Energy company president who may or may not have been at the meeting, "and once unfolded, make it nearly impossible to fold back into its original condition. You try to re-fold those things while you're driving, it could fly up in your face and then how are you able to find anything."

A small number of those at the meeting voiced their concern that some terrorists might already know how to get here and hypothetically, it might take as little as nineteen terrorists with actual directions to have the wherewithal to attack us here. They believe that evil-doers may have already infiltrated the Automobile Club and if they ever find their way to the map section of the AA Vacation Department they could get some trip advisor to actually develop a travel route that is both efficient and filled with fascinating landmarks that any terrorist kid would love to blow up.

"Not with our boys over there," said Secretary State, Condoleeza Rice. "See, while we're still over there, if something were in the plans over here, a simple daily briefing dossier stating a terrorist's intent to attack us here would instantly send up red flares in this White House, which coincidentally is also here."
- Advertisement -

The entire Bush science community, who was at the meeting, said that, "Even in the unlikely event they would get hold of an accurate map while we're still there, believing that you can get here from there while we're still there is as rational as believing an iceberg could melt."

The President closed the meeting more adamant than ever that the Democratic demand for a withdrawl date is out of the question.

"No doubt, we give them a date sure that we're leaving," said the President, "you can bet your life that before you can say, 'stay the course,' they'll be on the phone to the Automobile Club. And then it will be too late."

Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" www.greatfailure.com
- Advertisement -


My "bio" is not relevant to this discussion

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles
Google Content Matches:
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Breaking! McCain Concedes!

Palin/Couric Interview Bombshell: Palin Unable To Name All Her Children's Names

It's Sunday - So Where's Sarah?

Fake FEMA Press Conference Template Making The Rounds

Image of Virgin Mary Found In Sarah Palin's Bouffant

Palin Suspends Vice Presidential Campaign: Rushes Back to Alaska to Keep an Eye on Russia


The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
8 people are discussing this page, with 8 comments
To view all comments:
Expand Comments
(Or you can set your preferences to show all comments, always)

because if it is not  and there was such meet... by Mark Sashine on Wednesday, Apr 4, 2007 at 12:34:56 PM
After the meeting all the neocons met up at Rove&#... by Ben on Wednesday, Apr 4, 2007 at 2:05:35 PM
It would be so easy for the terrorista to get thr... by cluelessfl on Wednesday, Apr 4, 2007 at 2:40:44 PM
Shouldn't this be April 1?... by Maxwell on Wednesday, Apr 4, 2007 at 2:51:46 PM
No this is serious. There is just one thing they d... by Han on Thursday, Apr 5, 2007 at 2:01:00 AM
So seriously can anyone show me exactly where Osam... by Ralph on Thursday, Apr 5, 2007 at 12:35:02 PM
Is it possible that someone in Iraq knew how to ge... by emily horswill on Saturday, Apr 7, 2007 at 2:46:32 AM
Satire it MUST be, however, do Americans understan... by Eddy Schmid on Tuesday, Apr 10, 2007 at 8:11:31 AM