Socialized Law Enforcement in America?

You bet.  And we wouldn't have it any other way 

Some are screaming about the non-existent threat of socialized medicine.

So why aren't they screaming about our existing socialized law enforcement?

Imagine this scenario.  It's 3:00 a.m. and you're asleep in your bed.  You're awakened by strange sounds coming from your backyard.  You get up and peek out your bedroom window and see a man working on your backdoor with a pry bar.

Someone is trying to break into your house.

Of course you're terrified.  You grab the phone and dial 911.  The dispatcher answers.

"911, what is your emergency?"

" I need the police right away," you whisper into the phone.  "Someone is trying to break into my house!"

"Yes, ma'am.  First I need your law enforcement insurance number."

Say what?

So you tell the dispatcher that you don't have law enforcement insurance, and he tells you that unless you can give him a credit card number with a minimum of, say, $5,000 available credit so you can self-pay for the cost of police protection, he can't send the cops to your house.

Your only other option, he informs you, is to somehow get yourself to the nearest law enforcement emergency room and fill out a form explaining the nature of your emergency.  The dispatcher tells you that by law, the cops can't turn you away from a law enforcement emergency room without helping you.

But no law enforcement insurance, and can't self-pay?  Then the cops won't come help you.

Ah, but wait.  You have a job which provides you with law enforcement insurance, or maybe you're wealthy and have bought private law enforcement insurance.  You're all set, right?  You give the dispatcher your law enforcement insurance number, but he tells you that under the policy of your LEMO - Law Enforcement Maintenance Organization - you're not covered for attempted break-ins, only actual break-ins.  He tells you to call back after the bad guy has gotten inside your house, and then he'll be able to send a patrol car.

Damn.  If only you'd gotten the PPPO plan (Preferred Police Provider Organization).

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