The Hypocrisy of Monogamy: Divorce and Adultery Versus Polygamy "Lord, I have no husband!" "Indeed, You Have Had Five Husbands And Are Now Living With A Man Who Is Not Your Husband!" Jesus to the Samaritan Woman at Jacob's Well.
In my opinion, there is at least one matter the Muslims and the Mormons have that right-Polygamy.
Polygamy is the most ancient practice found in all human societies and almost every non-human oxygen breathing life form. The wolf is one of the few exceptions.
Those who believe that the Old Testament, God or Jesus, condemned polygamy, is in blasphemous error. To the contrary, the Old Testament and Rabbinic writings frequently attest to the theological and civil legality of polygamy. King Solomon is noted for among other things his vast collection of beauties, 700 wives and 350 concubines. (1 Kings 11:3) In addition, King David had between 10-15 wives and concubines (2 Samuel 5:13). When David was dying, despite his many wives, his staff scoured the land for the most desirable female in the Kingdom and came upon the alluring beauty, Abishag, the Shunamite, whose beauty was irresistible, to sleep with him, keep him warm and should they have sexual relations, to heal him in that way. The Jews believed that a once strong man, even taken seriously ill, could be revived by the sexual attentions of a great beauty, and thus the King, could be restored to his full powers. Abishag cared for him but so ill was he that even she could not seduce him, thus could not restore him, and so he died.
Rabbinic sources and the bible speak of the Temple Prostitutes, which were part of an honorable, respected profession. The Old Testament even portrays injunctions on how to distribute the property of a man among his sons from different wives (Deut. 22:7). The only restriction on polygamy was a ban on taking a wife's sister as a rival wife (Lev. 18:18). The Talmud advises a moderation of four wives, the Qur'an agrees, Mohammed thinks five are the voluntary maximum. European Jews practiced polygamy until the sixteenth century. Oriental Jews practiced polygamy until they arrived in Israel where it was forbidden under civil law. However, under religious law which overrides civil law in such cases, it was/is permissible.
Father Eugene Hillman writes, in his book, Polygamy Reconsidered, "Nowhere in the New Testament is there any explicit commandment that marriage should be monogamous or any explicit commandment forbidding polygamy." As I do, he cites that Jesus never spoke against polygamy, which was practiced by the Jews of his society. Father Hillman emphasizes that the Church in Rome banned polygamy in order to conform to the Greco-Roman culture (which dictated only one legal wife but heartily tolerated concubines and prostitutes). Father Hillman quotes St. Augustine, "Now indeed in our time, and in keeping with Roman custom, it is no longer allowed taking another wife."
I know of at least two priests, who refused to give absolution to friends who were living in an ongoing, loving, monogamous, relationship (one seven years and the other ten years) though both couples and their mates were divorced and later annulled by the Catholic Church, and the relationship though committed, was financially an advantage for both over marriage. I know of other couples, which chose to live-in without marriage, happily, one for 18 years, one for 20 years, one for 11 years and several other newer relationships for several years, and have been virtually excommunicated. Many good, sweet, pious people I know are divorced and remarried... and excommunicated.
How unjust, how hypocritical is that? Compare: A person aborts their baby-the baby is dead, never to return, according to the church (an error on their part but more on that later). The person goes to confession, is forgiven and is restored to receiving communion and all the sacraments. So far, fair enough, but the baby is still dead-DEAD!
Now a woman is abused, or otherwise realizes that she has made a grave mistake, so she gets a divorce. She meets a man with whom she falls in love-they marry. Her ex-husband finds a woman he loves, reforms and remarries also. Both are content-both are still alive!
Both have found new lives and new loves. Both are also excommunicated. They are living and happy. They have forgiven each other or nor but remain civil and content in their new lives. Again, and More importantly both are still alive! And still excommunicated, without absolution!
However, the murderer of the aborted baby is no longer excommunicated, has received absolution and is allowed to revel in her free will at receiving the sacraments. However, the victim-aborted baby remains dead, has been deprived of life, therefore free will, marriage and children of it's own and never, in the eyes of the church to have those joys it of which it was robbed forever. In the divorce, the victims, still live and still have free will and can remarry and have children-God has not acted to remove those joys from them, but the church, made up of men and women who do not practice human sexuality or marriage, a gift of God upon which they have turned their backs, have refused them a God Given right.
Having read the above thoroughly, do you think in your heart of hearts, in your soul of empathy and love of your fellow creatures, devoid of a envy, jealousy and hatred, that the church has ben just or even logical. The punishment in one case far exceeds the crime-if any, which there is not. In the second place the mercy shown a murderer, far exceeds the mercy and the punishment with which it tortures the divorcee'. It appears that their priests were not at all familiar with the concepts of John 4:1-42.
I have heard hypocritical, sanctimonious suburban couples gossiping and casting malicious glares at older men with much younger, attractive wives. (They seem not to mind much when the younger female is unattractive). I have watched their unctuous, Judgmentalism concerning mixed-racial couples and unmarried couples co-habitating. Those who condemn such couplings are not Christians, they are hypocrites. As if because of the glare, the couple will suddenly stop loving each other to find one closer to their age or their race to please the envy of the whited sepulchers in human form, wagging their heads and tongues and losing their souls in the process.
I find this especially interesting because the divorce rate is now standing at 55% for first marriages. 93% of those divorced are within 1-5 years of each other's age, whereas in marriages of 10-30 years difference in age, the divorce rate is at 28%, or less than half of those of modern traditional age differences .
The custom of younger women marrying older, more mature and accomplished men is ages old, not something new, but it is threatening to both men and women who are not in such relationships. That is their misfortune. This hostility toward mixed-age marriages is nothing more than Pecksniffian cases of envy, jealousy, fear and avarice. The scandal given in such situations is purely on the side of the onlookers, with malice, and evil in intent.
Let us review the rather uninformed rather unenlightened state of marriage as it is now practiced (and I do mean practiced, because few get it right). Between 17 and 24 years of age, when people are at an age least qualified under present modern, commercially inundated, cultural settings, to make such decision, is the time when they are under most pressure from peers and family to do just that. Fortunately all over the western world young people are rebelling against this ill-advised ideal, and marrying later and later, many opting not to marry at all.
Professor Bagnolo is a Renaissance man: Cultural Anthropologist, Architectural designer, painter, writer, novelist, theologian. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, with an off the charts IQ, reading at the graduate level by 5th grade, offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8. Later He was a recipient of an Art Institute scholarship at age 11, a Ford Foundation Fellowship in Anthropology and in Painting and a merit scholarship in art, and was appointed a Graduate Research Assistant position in college. He holds a triple bachelor's degree in Painting and Drawing, Anthropology, Architectural Design Advertising. MA's in Cultural Anthro, Painting and more. After being tenured he taught; architecture, anthropology, Theology, advertising, painting and drawing, entrepreneuring and Creative Profit Making. He produced a star-studded Music festival, had a radio talk show in Chicago, and cable TV show. Now, retired from Teaching, he paints, writes, and pursues other ventures.
The above bio harvested from the comments of Deans, colleagues, students, clients and collector's.
I really must thank Professor Bagnolo for giving me another compelling reason to be happy without a connection to any faith that fails to recognize the dignity of women. Sadly, that's most of them.
by
Beth Grimes (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 25 comments)
on Friday, December 7, 2007 at 1:59:57 PM
Dignity, Beth, is an inbred view of ones self-self-image. It is not affected by the outsiders view of a person, or by a position in life, just as confidence is inbred and cannot be abridged by onlookers. If you carefully read the entire article, it was manifest with the notion of freedom of choice: Choice to be single, celibate, chaste, monogamous, polygamous, serial monogamy, serial polygamy, single with many lovers, single with no lovers, or simply undecided. I don't care about which anyone chooses, but I do care about the men, women and children's happiness, and America and Europe have fallen prey to the lawyers delight, the retailers delight and the mortgagers delight, splitting marriages up is good for their businesses, so can sell two of everything.
Adultery is the bane of marriage, and never has God, the prophets or Jesus spoken against polygamy. I and many others are simply saying freedom of choice in marriage or not is necessary. Too many people are unhappy and unhappy people leads to pain and suffering. Dignity has nothing to do with either polygamy or monogamy, it has to do with self-image. Thanks for reading.
by
Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo (144 articles, 1 quicklinks, 95 diaries, 1311 comments)
on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 at 11:48:48 PM
2 comments
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