Saving America: A How To Do It Kit For Only $11.95 And Two Boxtops Off A Winchester Cartridge Case
Find here, Fascists, Nazis, thieving murderous bastards, Saints and freaks, gods and Nutcases, fair share, elimination of excessive wealth. Free healthcare, and those who don't want it can do without and how to achieve decent world, free of Bushites and their evil followers/enablers. Humor, exaggerated satire.
A World Of Peace I am going to vote for Dennis Kucinich! Why? For better reasons than people voted for Butcher-Bush. I am voting for Dennis (and no disrespect meant) because he has the hottest wife in Washington! (And because he is the only person in Washington with honest common sense and his wife's beauty proves it!) Now, isn't that a better reason than anyone can possibly have for voting for WHO ME? Alfred E. Newman-Bush?
Now For A Few Environmental Problems Which We need To Fix We are running out of gorgeous women with brain cells working. There are simply not enough of them to go around, and many of those that now exist are dating or married to dorks, because there are not enough good looking studly, brainy guys around either. This needs to be fixed.
America is overpopulated, but not with beautiful, intelligent, energetic, non-materialistic people. Smart, attractive, altruistic people are in short supply.
Mosquitoes aren't killing anyone any more, but the Pesticides and Herbicides wasted on killing harmless mosquitoes, are killing Americans by the buckets full, but slowly.
All water supplies are contaminated, so are all of our food supplies... with chemicals.
Oh, one more thing to worry about, Sharks are starving! Yes, their food supply is dwindling because of ocean pollution by America and China.
Now for how to save America?" Well, most of the damage was done when they let Fascists into America in the first place, ages ago. However, once having them come over, allowing them to raise their own children was the second mistake. The largest share of damage however, was done when the government did not incarcerate the entire Bush, Walker, Harriman firm, between the 1930's and the 1950's. However, what can we do about it now? Well if you paid your $11.95 keep reading but if not Buzz-off!
How To Save America Now! When I see the iPoded-out, Comcasted, DISHED-out, 50" HDTV'd, Ring-toned-shopped, 4 inch thick by 5 inch heeled shoes, pants-worn below the pubic-line, baseball-caps worn backwards and sideways, eating, make-up putting on, and reading while Driving 10 mph below the speed limit in the passing lane, 60% non-voting, American, working, single women, and illegal aliens, I say take the vote away from anyone who didn't vote, jail everyone who wears a baseball cap sideways or backwards, and if they never played organized baseball, send them to Crawford Texas. They are the same people who want harmless mosquitoes to be sprayed with pesticides that do little but kill Americans. They are also the same idiots who pour pesticides/herbicides all over their lawns and gardens for cosmetic reasons.
The above idiots are what our forefathers (and some foremothers) died for? That is truly disgusting! I say arm them all with water pistols and wrap them in a few tons of consumer, Chinese-slow-death-toxic-plastic crap and then dump all the pesticides and herbicides on their lawns and let them commit themselves to Funny farms and then drop videos of Bush lying to them and play them over and over again forever!
That should reduce the population by about one 1/4.
Now, we have a few more matters to take care of in this saving of America, so here we go.
Rebuilding Texas In The Mold Of New Orleans We should build a fifty-foot high ten-foot thick, reinforced concrete wall around the entire state of Texas. Everyone who believes in Evolution or Creationism, should be shipped, there and we should air-drop enough arms and ammunition and fully armed rockets, into this Prison State for everyone we commit to it, but only half as much food as they would need and when we hear no more shots being fired within, we should applaud. Then we should airfreight a few million more rounds of ammo in and wait. Still no more shots being fired? Then we should sterilize the entire state, with lye, bleach, and wait a few more generations. That knocks off another 1/4 of the nutcases in America.
While that is going on, we have a few more tasks. We give every single American a simple test:
THE TEST! 1-Have you ever driven slower than the speed limit in the passing lane keeping pace with another auto in the slow lane? 2-Have you ever: Read, eaten, put on make-up, combed hair, looked out the side windows or at your passenger, more than at the road, or spoken on the phone while driving? 3-Have you ever voted for G W Bush twice? 4-Are you still a Bush Supporter? 5-Do you believe that Saddam was in cahoots with Osama BL and 9/11? 6-Do you approve of the attack on Iraq? 7-Do you believe enemy aliens planned that 9/11? 8-Do you believe that Jesus approves of the war in Iraq? 9-Do you like the smell of Chinese plastic? 10-Do you support war because it is good for business? , Have you made a profit during the war on oil or any war materials? 11-Do you watch American Idol? 12-Do you watch NASCAR? 13-Does your cell phone make any sound other than a Buzz or a ring? 14-Have you ever played Organized Baseball? If so were you a Catcher? 15-If not, do you ever wear a baseball cap either sides ways or backwards? 16-Do you wear your pants below your navel? 17-Are the legs of your shorts wider than an elephants leg? 18-If you have lived in America more than 18 months and do not speak yet or write in English, say, yes and paint a Giant Zero on your forehead, okay? 19-Wasn't Alberto Gonzales a Nice guy-a great guy? 20-Weren't you devastated that he and Rove and Wolfowitz and Rove and Rumsfeld and Michael Brown "resigned"?
Now, Back To The Starving Shark Problem. Anyone who gets a passing grade in the above, which is 2 yes answers, will be dropped by plane into the shark infested waters off the Australian coast to feed the poor starving sharks and a far enough distance from shore that they could not swim back and dump then buckets of chum on them. We could finance this by selling water soluble Bibs to the sharks with illustrations of Neo-cons on them. Now that eliminates another 1/4 of the population.
Professor Bagnolo is a Renaissance man: Cultural Anthropologist, Architectural designer, painter, writer, novelist, theologian. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, with an off the charts IQ, reading at the graduate level by 5th grade, offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8. Later He was a recipient of an Art Institute scholarship at age 11, a Ford Foundation Fellowship in Anthropology and in Painting and a merit scholarship in art, and was appointed a Graduate Research Assistant position in college. He holds a triple bachelor's degree in Painting and Drawing, Anthropology, Architectural Design Advertising. MA's in Cultural Anthro, Painting and more. After being tenured he taught; architecture, anthropology, Theology, advertising, painting and drawing, entrepreneuring and Creative Profit Making. He produced a star-studded Music festival, had a radio talk show in Chicago, and cable TV show. Now, retired from Teaching, he paints, writes, and pursues other ventures.
The above bio harvested from the comments of Deans, colleagues, students, clients and collector's.
...it would feel soooo good! I just don't know if we can get the average beer guzzlin', tv watchin', Wal-Mart shoppin' dude to get the idea that life is more than the next bullet for those that are out there to get us. Lord knows, I've tried!
Bless you, Pete! You give me hope and I thank you for that!!!
by
joanakelly (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 14 comments)
on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 10:01:37 AM
