"My what?"
"Your church home--your home away from home."
I should've answered in the affirmative because what ensued when I shook my head was a list of suggestions, many of which were fundamentalist establishments.
My husband and I settled in, buying a house that needed much more work than we realized. In fact, it was a sinkhole--a veritable money pit. When it rained, several rooms took a hit of water. We hired a roofer and after solving that major problem, I found a painter who would become someone I saw every week-day for the next six months. "You've got yourself a handyman," he said.
Repeatedly, he told me he bought the highest quality materials. Repeatedly, he said, "You can trust me." Repeatedly, he remarked, "I'd never cheat you. I'm a Christian." I believed him.
At some point when I mentioned needing some kitchen renovation, he said he could do it all. "You want a bay window?" he asked.
"Who wouldn't?" I said. I wrote a large check and he was off to Home Depot to place the order.
Within a few days, I decided I really didn't need to spend the money nor could I endure the ordeal of a kitchen makeover. Instead, I talked my husband into downsizing. He agreed we should look for a house that was more manageable.
I called my 'handyman' and told him to cancel the order for the window. He said it was too late.
I hung up and, then, a few minutes later, phoned Home Depot. I gave them his name, explained that I'd changed my mind, and they pulled the information on their computer. "No problem," the salesman told me. He'd just refund the $200. check to my 'handyman.'
"There must be some mistake." I said. He told me he paid $1,300. for it."
I'd been snookered--by a born-again.
When we moved into the house that required less maintenance, we decided a fresh coat of paint was all that was needed in some of the rooms. I got several estimates. One man handed me a card that read, 'Praise the lord Painting Company.' I turned him down flat and trashed the card.
I cringed when George Bush said Jesus was his favorite philosopher during the campaign for his party's nomination in the 2000 presidential race. I could just picture a 'Praise the Lord Presidency.'
Just as my 'handyman' was my employee, Bush now is. I pay his salary and I maintain his house.
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