Yet another Memorial Day is upon us, and our president sez: "No group has ever done more to defend liberty than the men and women of the United States armed forces." This simple reality presents me with a genuine conundrum. How in the world can I pick which indomitable defenders of liberty to honor this year?
 
Perhaps I can spend my day in quiet contemplation of those valiant heroes who unselfishly risk the agony of carpal tunnel syndrome as they push the buttons and/or computer keys to launch those cruise missiles into crowded Third World cities. The same goes for America's many courageous snipers and fearless bomber pilots...all of them using their fingers and eyes to preserve our way of life.
 
I owe my liberty to them...
 
Of course, I could instead dedicate myself to worshipping the gallant warriors who put their feet and toes on the line each time they repeatedly kick a prone, chained, and blindfolded prisoner at Gitmo. (Oops, did I say "prisoner"? I mean "enemy combatant," of course.) These resolute patriots also expose their vocal cords to excruciating injury when they engage in the selfless daily practice of screaming at such evildoers. One can only imagine the mental strain of coming up with new epithets each and every day-day and day, year after year.
 
Thanks to them, I am free...
 
Then again, the epic exploits of America's latest generation are nothing new. This country was built on centuries of similar deeds and efforts. Remember: America would never be able to spread its values all over the planet without those men and women who volunteer to make it happen. Could you imagine what life on Earth would be without the pervasiveness of American values?
 
Mickey Z. is the author of the upcoming novel, CPR for Dummies, and he can found on the Web here.