The President of the United Nations Ban Ki Moon today announced the Bali, Indonesia Climate Change Conference “Worst Person in the World Award”. The first prize, an all inclusive one week waterboarding adventure at Abu Ghraib prison was a hotly contested prize. When Senator John McCain was asked why the United States was not combatting global warming he blamed “special interest groups” which contribute to expensive political campaigns in exchange for political favors later. Senator Mike Gravel, who ended the Vietnam War was banned from all future Democratic Presidential debates for saying “Our Government is owned lock, stock and barrel by the Military Industrial Companies.” The Iraq War has been a tremedous source of gold, profit, for the war monger corporations and oil companies.
Climate Change is a euphemism for “planetary poisoning leading to the extinction of all life on earth forever”. Human beings are a species of animal composed of air, water and earth. The massive burning of oil by human beings to drive their SUV’s is poisoning the earth’s air, water and earth to the point where the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food we eat from the poisoned earth will soon become so deadly that we will all soon die like Michael Vick’s dogs simply by breathing air, drinking water, and eating food from the soil. Poison air, water and earth are already causing millions of prolonged agonizing deaths from cancer. This has been a tremendous source of gold, profit, for the pharmaceutical companies. Keep that in mind as you are retching your guts out from chemotherapy.
Human beings have become so sophisticated, so educated, that they have forgotten that they drop dead from poison, from venomous snake bites and from kool aid. As we merrily go about like Santa’s elves building our own worldwide gas chamber, recall that even Hitler didn’t feel the need to poison the water or the earth in his gas chambers; poisoning the air was sufficient for Hehr Fuhrer. The thing about poison is it doesn’t care what your religion or skin color is. At least snakes are not racist.
Humans are now in a race against time to stop poisoning themselves and each other to death. According to Ban Ki Moon at the Bali Climate Change Conference planetary poisoning will soon cause the earth’s temperature to warm up to the point where the Arctic, Antarctic and Greenland will melt and the earth’s one ocean will rise permanently by 100 feet. Ground Zero will be permanently at the bottom of the ocean. Denver will be prime beachfront property. Driving on our present course, the heating of the earth will cause the earth’s mountain glaciers to melt and therefore the earth’s rivers to run dry as their source of water disappears. This will solve the Israeli Palestinian problem because when Mount Hermon’s glacier and the Himalayan glacier melts the Jordan and Euphrates Rivers will run dry and the people will die of thirst and famine.
Ban Ki Moon told the Bali Climate Change Conference that this will result in starving nuclear armed nations going to war over water and the remaining soil that has not either been turned into desert or submerged under 100 feet of water. The resulting nuclear world war followed by worldwide nuclear winter then ultraviolet summer will cause a radioactive cloud of poison to blot out the sun for one year and turn all of earth’s water into permanently radioactive poison. The simple solution to these Hellish problems is that starting tomorrow everyone on earth stops driving cars and burning oil (gasoline) to drive them.
Our ancestors got along fine without cars for 5 million, 5,000,000 years without cars until 125 years ago. If we give up cars today then life on earth will go on for another 5 billion years. If we do not give up cars then life on earth will go extinct forever in the next few years as we fight nuclear world wars over oil and water. Every nuclear scientist knows that nuclear world war III will have no survivors. We are all about to drown under 100 feet of radioactive soup. During the one year of nuclear winter the radioactive cloud will eat away all of the earth’s ozone, which when pressed together is only one penny thick. When the ozone is gone we will have ultraviolet summer. Without ozone to protect us from the nuclear rays of the sun lead will melt on the earth’s surface as it does on Venus, where women come from.
The only way to win nuclear world war III is to prevent it and the only way to prevent it is for all of us to give up our cars permanently today. We can all go back to walking and riding horses and camels as we watch the air, water and earth clear up, and think of the Hell we avoided. Ban Ki Moon told the Bali Climate Change Conference that what we are about to experience is worse than any horror science fiction movie because it is real.
Human beings suffer from the same problem as politicians. George Bush’s term in office is only 8 years. The average human being’s term on earth is around 75 years. George Bush is thinking “Let Hillary Clinton deal with this mess” and human beings are thinking “Our kids will figure this out, everyone has to die anyways.”
Unfortunately George Bush and Hillary Clinton are puppets for the American Petroleum Institute and the Warmonger corporations, which also own the media, which is the reason that people don’t see the train barreling towards them and their children. Bill and Hillary Clinton never ratified Kyoto and just based on that they should be banned from the White House permanently. George Bush hired some Exxon Mobil oil lawyer to doctor scientific reports at the White House to say that planetary poisoning is good for us all. Just based on that alone George Bush is now facing a charge of treason brought forward by the female polar bears now forced to eat their children.
The United States of America guzzles 20 million barrels of oil every day, 10 million imported. Next on the list is China at 5 million then Russia at 2 million and most of the 190 countries on earth burn a few thousand barrels of oil per day. It is common knowledge that the Saudi bin Laden family financed George Bush’s oil company. It is also common knowledge that George Bush Sr. called the environmentalists “the spotted owl crowd” and sits on the board of the Saudi House of Saud. Today at the Bali Climate Change Conference Ban Ki Moon handed out the “Bali Worst Person in the World Award” to Saudi Oil Minister Ali al Naimi who narrowly edged out George Bush.
Saudi Oil Minister Ali al Naimi won the award by saying, “The world should make the most of its huge reserves (50 years) of fossil fuels (coal and oil). The trend towards a move away from fossil fuel consumption as a means of addressing climate change does not represent a practical alternative to reducing greenhouse gas emissions.” Actually, it’s the only way. The question we all face now is do we go on insanely burning oil for another 50 years, at which point there will be no more oil and we will have to stop anyway, if anyone is still here, or do we stop driving our cars permanently today, and save life on earth from going extinct at our hands? If the climate can change then we can change.