The 85 year old black hatted black coated long white bearded Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam shouted out from the cross, “The truth shall set you free!” The occupying rooster hatted Roman Soldier shouted back, “I’d like to thank the brave men and women of the Roman Empire Armed Forces and their families for the immense sacrifices they have made. God Bless Rome.” 

It’s getting so that you can’t even start a new war in the Middle East anymore. This week while 2 of George Bush’s puppets General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker were feeding baloney sandwiches to the U.S. House and Senate Israel bombed Syria. Syria turned the other cheek.  

It’s getting so that being the President of the United States like George Bush is like being an SEO Professional. You get your puppets to go to the Capitol and spam the keywords “Iran Nukes Bad”, “Syria Nukes Bad”, “North Korea Nukes Bad”, “Al Qaeda Nukes Bad”. In the middle of all of this keyword spamming in the American Congress Israel bombs Syria. George Bush’s speech tomorrow night was supposed to be about the beginning of all out war in the Middle East between Saudi Arabia and their puppet George Bush against Syria and Iran, all of the Middle East oil goes to the winner.  

The elder George Bush sits on the board of the House of Saud. His Chairman is Saudi King Abdullah. The Saudi Bin Laden family financed the oil company of George W. Bush. President Bush joked last week that he was looking forward to his retirement making speeches as if we didn’t know that Saudi King Abdullah has already paid the Bushes billions of Euros into Swiss bank accounts in the name Decider Jr. Investments Ltd. A guy is entitled to make a living and support his daughters. King Abdullah is paying both George Bushes to conquer all of the Middle East oil for him. Then he will buy china with the proceeds. His wives love Waterford.  

The reason that the United States sent 30,000 more troops to Iraq was to conquer the Middle East oil fields this week with weapons of mass destruction but Syria didn’t take the bait. The leak is that Israel bombed a munitions dump in Northern Syria because it contained Iranian and get this, North Korean weapons which were then being handed off to Hezbollah, Hamas, and the insurgents in Iraq to kill American soldiers. What do you have to do to provoke a war in the Middle East with the Mahdi Army and Syria playing possum? The Ayatollahs are not idiots. They have time on their side and they are breathing in the nuclear fumes of two American carrier groups parked outside their bedroom windows.  

George Bush has virtually handed Iraq to Iran if he leaves now. It’s all or nothing now for Junior. Either he goes down in history as America’s worst President ever or he shape shifts overnight into Winston Churchill by conquering Iran, Iraq and Syria for the United States of America. The Democrats aren’t blocking the funding for the Iraq War because they’re too busy playing “They got you in, we’ll get you out” with the American voters.  

Today Tony Snow, another George Bush puppet auditoned for Saturday Night Live. Tony Snow said, “Victory is defined as helping the Iraqis develop the capbility of defending themselves and governing themselves.” Pontius Pilate said the same thing to the Emperor Tiberius but he had a problem with his timing and delivery so he didn’t make it either. Ambassador Ryan Crocker also auditioned for Saturday Night Live. He said, “I see encouraging signs on the diplomatic level. The Saudis are preparing to reopen their embassy in Baghdad for the first time since 2003.” They are opening a branch office. 

On a lighter note, Ramadan and Rosh Hashanah began tonight. The Muslim people will be fasting from dawn till dusk for a month, and eating and smoking from water pipes all night for a month, like the Jewish coeds at Brigham Young University. George Bush is poised to tell America and the world that he is going to take the advice of his puppet General David Petraeus and bring home the 30,000 troops he just sent over next summer so that the American people see the troops coming home during the Presidential debates and vote Republican. If all goes according to Saudi King Abdullah’s plan, by next summer Barbara and Jenna Bush will be suntanning at the George Bush Palace Hotel and Casino in a Tehran mysteriously devoid of any Shiites, something about smallpox.