Imagine that 6 years ago you turned lower Manhattan into an inferno cloud of smoke, knocked down 2 skyscrapers and killed 3,000 Americans, took out the Pentagon, and sent all of the Washington politicians scurrying from the Capitol and the White House. Now imagine that the combined forces of the United States military, CIA and FBI including satellite photography and space lasers which can see you hiding inside of a coke can in your carry on luggage and then take you out without even grazing the baloney sandwich packed neatly beside it are ordered by the President of the United States George Bush to find you and take you dead or alive. In addition imagine that there is a $50 million price tag on your head. Where on Earth could you hide? Would you be able to avoid capture for 6 years and then issue world wide statements on You Tube with more hits than Britney Spears took for her opening of the MTV Video Awards?
They say that Karl Rove is gone but does the President of the United States George Bush not have his phone number? How did the debate go from “Where are Iraq’s WMD’s?” to “Is Osama bin Laden on Viagra?” This reframing of the Iraq Debate smells so Rovian that the Swift Boating ads seem tame in comparison. According to former waitress, dormitory advisor and now George Bush’s Homeland Security Advisor Frances Fargos Townsend, “Osama bin Laden is a man on the run, from a cave, whose virtually impotent other than these tapes.”
George Bush is the puppet master of many puppets. President Bush used his puppet Frances Fargo Townsend to get out the administration’s message that even though President Bush has failed for 6 years to capture Osama bin Laden, the U.S. has rendered Osama bin Laden impotent, and the American people have nothing to fear from Osama bin Laden or his group Al Qaeda. In fact claims the administration, “Osama bin Laden is impotent.” Harvey Levin of TMZ has already posted Osama bin Laden starring in a new movie with Jenna Jameson called “Doing America” to disprove this scurrilous allegation against the most popular Muslim since the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH).
David Petraeus is now telling the House and the Senate that the United States cannot leave Iraq because if they do then Al Qaeda and Iran will end up owning Iraq. In other words General David Petraeus is saying that 6 years after 9/11 Osama bin Laden is omnipotent, as if he held the patents on Viagra and Cialis.
Who is right, General David Petraeus or Frances Fragos Townsend? Is Osama bin Laden impotent or omnipotent? Well, given the fact that 6 years ago we were all told that Osama bin Laden was suffering from kidney failure and needed daily dialysis to clean his blood one must suspect that bin Laden is impotent. Are the kidneys and the bladder not connected in some way to the urethra? Now that he has turned 50 is the champion of the word of Allah not going for a colonoscopy? Is the surgeon Ayman al-Zawahiri out of prescription pads for viagra? Is Osama bin Laden ordering viagra online from some company in the United Kingdom which has the pills made in India and then shipped anywhere in the world in a brown paper envelope? Is one of the side effects of viagra more youthful looking facial hair?