By John E. Carey
December 21, 2006

Did it occur to anyone that Mr. Donald "The Donald" Trump, Miss Rosie O'Donnell, and the reigning Miss USA Tara Conner are taking us all for a ride? I mean, the public admonishments of Miss USA from Saint Donald Trump don't amount to much, given his own marriage to beauty queen/divorce/new marriage to beauty queen record. Rosie, last I checked, was living in a "gay" relationship that the Catholic Church still considers to be "deviant," never mind that millions of viewers hang on her every word. And Miss USA is nothing but the object of sexual exploitation for profit (including her own) that used to be commonly accepted in another era.

And what really were Miss USA's sins? Did The Donald accuse her of breach of contract? No. That would have killed the Golden Goose, even though three lawyers we spoke to said she would probably be dead meat on toast if accused in a court of law of that offense. The Donald questioned her youthful exuberance. I mean, she didn't do anything your underage children aren't probably doing right now (taking cocaine - a felony, wild partying, kissing another woman sexually in public, and getting a really classy tattoo of a star on her hand).

In a society that looks the other way to just about anything, provide detox or an apology are involved, who really cares what Miss USA is up to in New York in the wee hours of the morning? I mean, an NFL player was recently questioned for driving around drunk while naked. Maybe we can get him a date with Miss USA and really see some fun!

In fact, why do we allow "Beauty Pageants" in our enlightened society at all? Aren't they just mildly shrouded events designed to exploit women's sexuality? I though women had come a long way and equality was the norm. Is there a Mister USA out there somewhere exploiting men? If there is, I'll bet they don't make one-tenth what The Donald promised NBC he could bring home from his new franchise.

And who profits from all this mindless sex, talk and rock and roll (plus a lot of innuendo) time wasting on TV, in magazines and on radio? Well, not too long ago, the Miss USA Pageant was headed for the trash bin due to very low and sliding ratings when it was rescued by a huge dollar infusion from? You guessed it! Donald Trump teamed with the National Broadcasting System (NBC) to underwrite the entire Miss USA Pageant! Donald, who hosted a trash show about nothing, practically made the term "You're Fired!" a family trademark in a TV extravaganza that America watched to the delight of the network and its commercial sponsors.

If Donald's Cable TV Press Conference about and with the sobbing Miss USA Tara Conner wasn't bad enough, now Mr. Trump and Miss O'Donnell have opened a cross-channel (not the English Channel) war of insults to the delight of: you guessed it again the TV networks and their commercial sponsors. Think about it: sponsors for Rosie's show, "The View" are delighted, including carrier ABC, NBC and everyone behind Miss USA are delighted, the second tier (read: down near the gutter) entertainment shows like "Entertainment Tonight" and "The Insider" and their commercial sponsors get smiles on their faces, then there's Dave, Jay, Conan and other talk show hosts who will welcome the participants of this spat to air time, and we haven't even mentioned talk radio yet!

But don't forget, all of us and all of them are TIME Magazine "Persons of the Year" for 2006. So this must be REALLY IMPORTANT!

The media hype behind the Trump-O'Donnell-Miss USA caper stinks of some Karl Rovian media consultant who dreamed up a way to make the rich richer and the stupid viewers even less informed about the important and consequential issues of the day like war, peace, starvation, famine, AIDS. CNN and the Fox News Channel practically featured the Trump Trauma all morning today now that the story of three lost hikers has trickled to a snowy halt. We offer our sincerest sympathies to their families.

American TV and American culture reflect and magnify American values. This is why many countries, especially Islamic and Communist countries, want to or do prohibit viewers from reaching American TV shows.

And if I still had kids below the age of, well, anything, I might suggest that they give some respect to their brains and they turn off and tune out much of what our trashy media dishes up.

Better to read a good book or just watch the news that go for a ride aboard the time wasting get rich money train of this sordid Trumped up non-event.