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April 26, 2008 at 11:48:42

Obama's Crotch Itch Problem

by Joel S. Hirschhorn     Page 1 of 1 page(s)

http://www.opednews.com


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I finally figured out why Obama so often looks uncomfortable, impatient and annoyed.  He never seems to be a regular guy.  One who can enjoy his public opportunities at local eateries and indulge himself like a real American enthralled with delicious unhealthy foods.  To joyously let loose and just be a happy black guy able to live in a millionaire’s McMansion and have a shot at being president after hardly learning how to be a senator.  Why?

 

Deep down Obama wants to scream, because he is suffering from a severe case of crotch or jock itch or, more correctly in his case, bitch itch.  As a presidential candidate in the public limelight 24/7 he restrains his natural desire to vigorously scratch his inflamed, drive-you-crazy itch, which is named Hillary.  His wife understands that it has not resulted from any intimate physical contact with Hillary and surely feels his pain.  Though Mrs. Obama must continually remind Barry that he cannot afford to let his incessant itch overcome his well-honed professional capability to hide the truth and keep smiling.  Obama compulsively strives to be the super-successful black man he and his wife have been waiting for.

 

So Obama courageously keeps talking, selling change but unable to change his own misery.  Silently and grinningly, he bears the pain and discomfort that is always wriggling in his consciousness like some alien indestructible life form.  Often he must pause between words as he tells himself to resist the temptation to openly and brazenly acknowledge his pain – to just scream at the top of his lungs.  And now you can better understand his various loony statements.  He stays just one tempting moment away from dropping his messiah façade, falling off his pedestal and loudly screeching “Hillary is driving me freaken crazy and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

 

Now you know the rest of the story.  Every time you see the big Obama grin remember what is driving him nuts – the Hillary itch that grows more irritating day by day, that just won’t go away and might eventually cause his mental heat to melt his politician cool.  To throw away his self-righteous script and scream obscenities as he confronts his pain.

 

Just imagine how stressful it is for Obama to stay so supremely confident, defiantly resisting that most human urge to scratch his Hillary bitch itch.  His obsessive ambition to be the first black American president seems strong enough to resist rational human response.  But is that the kind of person we want as president?  Someone with such yes-we-can self-control, unable to boldly fight his pain because doing so might jeopardize his ego-soaked quest for the ultimate power?  I see a character defect.

 

Considering that Obama has made his candidacy more about himself than ideology or policy positions, it is fair to be concerned that he is too cerebral.  I want a president that knows how to scratch his itch.  If he cannot act on his pain, how can he act on my pain and the pain of many millions of other Americans?  Indeed, maybe if he related more to the pain felt by Clinton supporters he could be the uniter we’ve been waiting for.  But if he cannot unite Clinton and Obama supporters, and whites and blacks, how could he possibly unite Republicans and Democrats in government to change the same old politics?  If anything, he has demonstrated that he is just another polarizer.

 

www.delusionaldemocracy.com

Joel S. Hirschhorn is the author of Delusional Democracy - Fixing the Republic Without Overthrowing the Government (www.delusionaldemocracy.com). His current political writings have been greatly influenced by working as a senior staffer for the U.S. Congress and for the National Governors Association. He advocates a Second American Revolution, beginning with an Article V Convention to propose constitutional amendments.

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Dr. John Moffett is an active research neuroscientist in the Washington, DC area, who has published articles on the nervous and immune systems. Dr. Moffett is also the author and webmaster of the political opinion website www.Factinista.org, and is a Managing Editor at OpEdNews.com.
John R MoffettDr. John Moffett is an active research neuroscientist in the Washington, DC area, who has published articles on the nervous and immune systems. Dr. Moffett is also the author and webmaster of the political opinion website www.Factinista.org, and is a Managing Editor at OpEdNews.com.

Keep your day job

Somehow Joel, I don't think anyone will be hiring you any time soon as a political adviser.

And precisely where did you get this notion? -

"His obsessive ambition to be the first black American president seems strong enough to resist rational human response."

Do you have sources, or are you just clairvoyant? Personally I think he is just being himself, and that he is a relatively mild mannered person.

by John R Moffett (78 articles, 14 quicklinks, 2 diaries, 587 comments) on Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 12:11:16 PM
 


Midwesterner, veteran of VietNam era naval service, I still feel an obligation to defend the Constitution against "all enemies, foreign and domestic."
John Sanchez Jr.Midwesterner, veteran of VietNam era naval service, I still feel an obligation to defend the Constitution against "all enemies, foreign and domestic."

About Obama

Hillary has made it about Obama, with the overt support of ABC, Fox news, John McCain, the Republican party and its foulest operatives, the Christian Right and the rest of the main stream media in train. Obama has remained above it all with a supreme exercise of self control, asking for questions about how he intends to help American citizens. The look on his face that you comment on belies his frustration, but he soldiers on with a civil manner and tone that should be recognized in contrast to harpies arrayed against him.

If it comes to pass that the imbeciles of the status quo prevail in their efforts to prevent restoration of the Constitution, I would even wager that any comments he makes in that eventuality are civil; although he would be entitled by everything decent in the universe to represent us, his constituency, by screaming for them all to go f**k themselves.

by John Sanchez Jr. (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 6 diaries, 821 comments) on Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 12:29:08 PM
 


Jim Freeman's op-ed pieces and commentaries have appeared in The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, International Herald-Tribune, CNN, The New York Review, The Jon Stewart Daily Show and a number of magazines.
Jim FreemanJim Freeman's op-ed pieces and commentaries have appeared in The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, International Herald-Tribune, CNN, The New York Review, The Jon Stewart Daily Show and a number of magazines.

Hey Joel

We've just paid the price for a jock-president and will be paying it for generations yet to come.

Interesting to me that all the complainers who look for policy from Barack haven't the interest, the sixteen bucks, the reading ability or the attention span to sit down with The Audacity of Hope and find out what the man thinks. It's all there.

Ah hell, let's just elect any idiot that can ride a bicycle . . .  

by Jim Freeman (107 articles, 40 quicklinks, 149 diaries, 325 comments) on Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 2:11:01 PM
 


Los Angeles
AntonioLos Angeles

SUBTERFUGE

Put a jock-scratching, NASCAR watching beer drinking good ole boy in the White House and the country will go down the toilet. If you need proof, its already happened. I dont think Americans realize how unsophisticated and vulnerable they are. Americans, victims of  their bland, vapid, uncontroversial and fundamentally specious education are up against world leaders who have a long tradition of sharp, incisive knowledge of strategy and tactics (and can tell the difference), leaders, including third world leaders, who understand perfectly what the motives of their American counterparts abroad are, and can, and will, make monkeys out of American policies. In the last 50 years, the US has failed miserably in most of its attempts to shape the world, although this FACT is covered up by the media, so that people dont realize it. Hirschhorn is obviously a reactionary. Right wing billionaire candidates have always used the "good ole boy" gambit to confuse and hoodwink people into thinking they are ordinary Joes. It is the left which has a genuine stake in strengthening the poor, the working class, and all those disenfranchised by the billionaires in Levis and plaid shirts. It is no accident that Nixon used this lying wheeling and dealing against Adlai Stevenson, calling him an "egghead". This attitude reveals a profound contempt  for ordinary American

 

by Antonio (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 63 comments) on Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 2:52:32 PM
 


Michael Cavlan , RN, was an Official Green Party Observer for the 2004 Ohio Re-Count.
He was the Green Party Candidate for US Senate 2006 and is a Candidate US Senate
2008 Seeking Green Party Endorsement in Minnesota. See www.michaelcavlan.org

Michael CavlanMichael Cavlan , RN, was an Official Green Party Observer for the 2004 Ohio Re-Count.
He was the Green Party Candidate for US Senate 2006 and is a Candidate US Senate
2008 Seeking Green Party Endorsement in Minnesota. See www.michaelcavlan.org

It's Not The itch problem

It is the corporate problem. The real problem is, he does not have a problem with it. He has corporate friendly PR teams to greenwash his image.

 

Which means ultimately that the problem is not with him, it is with his fans. 

by Michael Cavlan (5 articles, 0 quicklinks, 2 diaries, 169 comments) on Saturday, April 26, 2008 at 9:37:25 PM
 


Former Lawyer, current Business Consultant,history buff, Christian, father of 2 sons and a supporter of democratic government.
ArchieFormer Lawyer, current Business Consultant,history buff, Christian, father of 2 sons and a supporter of democratic government.

Itch

Your crass description is not appropriate for a political comment and furthermore if you want to get down and dirty you already have a president who has no problem scratching his itch no matter where it is and believe me he has given everyone else a rash.

by Archie (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 817 comments) on Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 3:13:41 PM
 


Christian tired of republican lies and smear campaigns.
lucydavisChristian tired of republican lies and smear campaigns.

Hillary - Whatever lie you want to hear

3) The Clinton campaign surrogates state publicly that Obama cannot win the election because Obama has too much dirty political baggage in regard to the Pastor Wright incident, his other associates, and his gun and   religion statements. However, Hillary Clinton does not mention the political baggage that she carries in regard to Whitewater, being a former Goldwater Republican, her career as a lawyer at the corporate Rose Law Firm in  Arkansas, and her position on the board of  Wall Mart, her votes on the Iraq War and the bill authorizing George Bush to confront the nation of Iran, and the new Bankruptcy Bill, and her support of NAFTA free trade treaties that are both anti-labor.  

In addition, recent political polls show that Hillary is also believed untrustworthy. There is, therefore, sufficient evidence that Hillary  is now the one who cannot be elected.  Would you prefer a former corporate lawyer in the White House like Hillary Clinton, or a former civil rights attorney like Barack Obama?       

(4)  We supporters and voters should also consider that both Hillary Clinton and her spouse have 32 years in public office for the Republicans to "Swift Boat" in comparison to only two years that Barack Obama has been in federal office.  From my viewpoint, the only thing that the Republicans can attack Obama for are wedge issues that have nothing  to do with his job performance as our president. 

by lucydavis (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 90 comments) on Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 3:25:06 PM
 

 

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