(This column appeared in THE LONE STAR ICONOCLAST, Crawford, Texas, and at www.LoneStarIcon.com the week of July 31, 2006.)
In the inestimable opinion of Condoleezza Rice, the region where Northern Israel meets Southern Lebanon, home to millions of Jews and Muslims, is going through a stage of "birth pangs" these past few weeks.
As if Condi would have even the vaguest notion of what that remark might mean.
Birth pangs, indeed.
Birth involves the beginning of life. Apparently, good Ms. Rice doesn't realize that launching rockets and shelling people with artillery, not to mention intrusive fighter-bomber sorties, all involve the destruction of life.
Just what is the region giving "birth" to, anyway?
Why, it's the joyful noise of democracy, or more accurately "Bushocracy," bouncing along a half-ton at a time, crafted in the USA and dropped right onto the heads of select Semites around the Middle East not affiliated with the Jewish or Christian faiths.
Glory Hallelujah, praise the lawd!
I was watching newsfeeds from Qatar (our pals) and another neighboring country last night. How confused these broadcasters are: The gorgeous women anchors were dressed and made-up to the 9s, and with their luxurious hair they put the majority of their Western counterparts to shame; however, despite this definitely non-Islamic façade the semantic alliteration of the copywriters left no doubt precisely who's in charge of the governments.
Every citizen of Lebanon who happened to be standing a little too close to the point of arrival when one of King George's gifts of Bushocracy came bouncing into his or her neighborhood was referred to as a "martyr." Conversely, every dead Jew was an enemy dealt with by Allah; each Israeli tank disabled was a victory for Allah.
No other news services in the World report events in the same manner as those of the state-run Muslim nations, even our best Mid-East friends. At its worst the off-kilter Soviet news was never this bloodthirsty in arousing public furor through the beliefs that have been ground into people's psyches for umpteen generations.
Funny how their downed tank count was some three times higher than the Israeli, American and British news reports. Maybe three different interns monitored the different sources and the numbers were inadvertently added together.
On the other hand, the Christians and Jews may have low-balled the World citizenry in its reporting to make Israel appear tougher than Hezbollah. Ya think?
Well, we all know the first casualty of war is truth, even if CNN has some 95% of its recognizable faces in and around Israel and Lebanon, while those faux-journalists at FOXNEWSCHANNEL are doing the preponderance of what they bogusly refer to as "reporting" direct from the studio with celebrity experts such as Wayne (Trapper John) Rogers and Ben Stein. (Ben, you're a Jew, and extremely well educated you should be ashamed of yourself! If I had won any of your money I would send every cent of it back!)