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The Simpsons: Who will Homer & Marge vote for in 2006?

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"Marge, Ned Flanders just told me that we need to vote in the next election," said Homer. Doh!

"Well, Homer, maybe you should consider doing it."

"But Marge, I don't know who to vote for. Lisa! Who should I vote for?"

"I recommend voting for people who are strong on the environment so we will still have fresh air and no more Category-5 hurricanes when I grow up. And vote for people who support labor unions and healthcare and education and debt reduction and world peace," replied Lisa. "That would be voting for your own best interests."

"Don't bother me with all that fancy talk. I'm voting for that guy they show on television." You mean Krusty the Clown? Or Sideshow Bob?

Mr. Burns put in his two cents worth. "Vote for the man in the suit with the most money, Simpson," he said. "Smithers! Get me that list of Congressmen who allowed me to store my radioactive waste in the Springfield municipal swimming pool!"
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"Were they Republicans or Democrats, Sir?" asked Smithers.

"It doesn't matter, Smithers. We own them all."

Who will Homer Simpson vote for in 2006? Will he vote in his own best interests or will he vote for Mr. Burns' clones? Or will he vote at all? Or, with Diebold counting the votes, will his vote even get registered?

"Dad," said Lisa, "you gotta stop thinking that voting at the polls is the only way to vote. There are other ways to vote as well. Start voting with your money. Only buy things from local businesses. Demand the passage of election finance reform bills. Send five dollars to every candidate who supports the working class so that the grass roots can buy back the White House and Congress."

"Doh! Can't I just have my Congressperson over to Moe's for a beer? That would be supporting local businesses."

Meanwhile, even as Homer continues to struggle mightily in the unfamiliar swamp of election ethics, as usual Bart Simpson has the last word. "Tell those dudes in Washington to eat my shorts."
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Stillwater is a freelance writer who hates injustice and corruption in any form but especially injustice and corruption paid for by American taxpayers. She has recently published a book entitled, "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips For Touring (more...)
 

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