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April 11, 2006 at 23:00:00

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Someone to Watch Over Me

by Horace J. Digby     Page 1 of 2 page(s)

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The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed another law suit to keep the U.S. Army from having too much contact with the Boy Scouts of America.

Thank goodness we have the ACLU to protect
our Army from the Boy Scouts.

Scouts have held their National Jamboree at Fort A.P. Hill, Virginia since 1918, Over the years they have invested nearly $12 million in permanent infrastructure at the fort. Not too bad a deal for the Army, especially considering the Jamboree only lasts nine days once every four years.

The ACLU claims this sort of Army support for the Boy Scouts violates our First Amendment because the Scout Oath mentions God. Apparently the ACLU has no problem with our Army supporting religious factions in the Middle East.


Don't get me wrong. The ACLU is an important organization. It's like Greenpeace, only without the boat. Instead of sailing around protecting whales, the ACLU protects liberty. And it must be doing a great job, if the Boy Scouts are the biggest remaining threat.

To get a handle on the legal issues, I called my old friend Caufbaugh Twilley. Twilley isn't actually a lawyer but he listens to talk radio which is basically the same thing.

According to Twilley, the ACLU bases its suit on the first ten words of the First Amendment, which are: "Please close cover before striking."

No wait, that's the Ninth Amendment. The first ten words of the First Amendment are: "Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion . . ."

There are 35 other words in the First Amendment, but Twilley said to ignore those.

At first glance, letting Boy Scouts camp at an Army fort doesn't look very much like Congress passing a law respecting religion.

"Ignore that too," Twilley said.

The ACLU has used this same argument to prevent Boy Scouts from renting part of Balboa Park in San Diego.

"So, according to the ACLU, protecting religious freedom requires the government to keep people who believe in God from using public property?" I asked.

"That's not the way the ACLU says it," Twilley told me, "but the effect is the same."

Now for some people, this sort of religious discrimination against the Boy Scouts will sound a lot like religious discrimination against the Boy Scouts, but Twilley said to "Ignore that too."

It turns out those other 35 words protect free speech, free association, free assembly and free exercise of religion. The ACLU knows all about those words and has even used them to protect the right of Nazis to hold a public rally in Skokie, Illinois. Skokie was home to a large number of Holocaust survivors, so the City wanted the Nazis to provide insurance for their rally. Apparently requiring insurance is discrimination under those other 35 words.

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Whether it's mishaps with a French-for-Travelers CD, or a media technology that corrects errors before they occur, Horace J. Digby never even sees the mark.

Winner of the Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor; selected to judge the (more...)
 

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6 comments


Im certain some think you hysterical

and, considering the various meanings of that word perhaps you are, just not very funny. Before you think this a knee jerk reaction by a "liberal" let me assure you that I am far from that and my knees dont work so well any more either. That you are trying to be humorous Ive no doubt, that you mislead and distort this case in order to be funny is possible, that you completely fail, and abysmally so, to understand the big picture and the ACLU's role in protecting everyones rights, including those of the American Nazi, is pretty clear. Remember that your good buddy, Rush Limbaugh, after spending years defaming the ACLU, upon running afoul of drug laws went directly to that august organisation for help.

by ardee D. (6 articles, 4 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 2377 comments) on Wednesday, Apr 12, 2006 at 7:22:25 AM

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Reply: Just Two Questions . . .

Ardee, Thanks for your comments. My article attempts to ask two questions. If you can give convincing answers to them, I'll go away. I'm not replying argue, or to SHOUT YOU DOWN (as liberals and conservatives do these days) but rather, after pointing out two rhetorical issues, I'd like ask you two questions, and then give you the floor: Rhetorical Issues: 1. My facts have been checked and rechecked. I don't think they "distort this case in order to be funny." What fun would that be? 2. Rush Limbaugh, is not my good buddy. I've never met him. Nor have I met Al Franken. But, wouldn't it be a hoot to do lunch with them both? Questions: 1. How do ACLU lawsuits to keep Boy Scouts from using public property protect everyone's rights? 2. Why should the Boy Scouts have any less right to use public property than other groups? Sincerely, Horace J. Digby Http://www.lexingtonfilm.com

by Horace J. Digby (5 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Thursday, Apr 13, 2006 at 1:03:03 PM

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Reply: No Subject Entered

Wow Horace, You are correct. Not only funny, but certainly the best forensics extempore writer this journalist has yet to read. Keep up the good work. And I'm not just saying this because I work for you either. Your Administrative Assistant Lola Lane lolalane@lexingtonfilm.com

by Horace J. Digby (5 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Friday, May 26, 2006 at 3:04:42 AM

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Reply: Sorry for the delay, I missed your response

The Boy Scouts take public money, thus they cannot, by law do what they do....simple really.

by ardee D. (6 articles, 4 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 2377 comments) on Tuesday, Sep 19, 2006 at 8:24:08 PM

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Reply: What About The Uniforms?

Ardee, Thanks for you comments, and your response. I agree that public money can't be spent for religious activities of any church or religion. That will be a violation of the establishment clause. But funds may be spent for secular purposes, as long as they are available and used without consideration of, or in support of religious programs or messages. Here, the Army, it would seem, has a vested interest in hanging around with Boy Scouts. They have a lot in common. The both deal with leadership. They both wear uniforms. They both deal in tactics, logistics, and operational issues. Scouting attempts to develop some pretty good character traits, independent of any religious message that may be associated with Scouting. There is no required religious message in Scouting, some troops take part in no religious activities, or programs what so ever. Cordially, Horace J. Digby Winner of the Robert Benchley Society Award for Humor. P.S. I just had a great visit with Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson about four hours ago, and Dave is a lot funnier than me. -- HJD

by Horace J. Digby (5 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 6 comments) on Wednesday, Sep 20, 2006 at 4:33:11 AM

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Reply: I could go and ask the ACLU

but, before I mosey over to their website and look for clues I would remind you that, considering the episodes of homophobia displayed by local and national leadership of the Scouts, this scheme to harrass and intimidate those short pants wearing scoutmasters may be simply a vendetta by the ACLU....My money, however, is on that esteemed group and Ill bet they have a real solid reason. Werent some scouts electrocuted at that army base a while back? Maybe its a safety issue......Does Balboa Park have high tension wires above it? Why are those army guys hanging around those teen age boys anyway? So many questions........dont ask and definitely dont tell.

by ardee D. (6 articles, 4 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 2377 comments) on Wednesday, Sep 20, 2006 at 5:34:50 PM

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