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Headlines Seen Only In Our Dreams

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Headlines I must have missed:

"President Bush Shows Up at Peace Conference."

"President Bush to Speak to the Nation Tonight on Gas Prices."

"President Bush Says, "Shame on me."

"President Bush Admits that Torture is Naughty."

"President Bush Finally Realizes He's Really Messed Up the Family Name Forever."

"President Bush Refrains from Rubbing Popes Head at Andrews Arrival."

"President Bush Admits that Most of His Appointees Came From the Shrine Circus."
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"Bush No Longer Believes Being a "C" Student is Such a Good Qualification for President."

"President Admits that the 'Mission is Hardly Accomplished.'"

"Bush Finally Admits Pastor Hagee is Nuts."

"Bush Admits the Voice of God Telling Him to 'Take Sadaam Out ' Was Made Up."

"President Bush Admits to Being a Poor Decider and Commander Guy."
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"Bush Admits to Loving Pistacios and Calls Off Attack on Iran."

"President Bush Admits 'I love to see Israel get its ass kicked for a change.'"

"Bush Admits He Finally Understands the Warsaw Ghetto/Gaza Analogy."

"Father Bush Admits He Should Have Called George Jr. More Often To Offer Help."

"Father Bush Threatens Son With Torture to See How He likes It."

"Barbara Bush Joins the Peace Corps and Leaves Her Beautiful Mind Home."

"President Bush Asks Why the Dutch, Iranians, Iraqis, Palestinians or Tibetans Can't Be the Chosen People for a Change."

"President Bush Asks His Grandchild Be Named Katrina."

"President Admits 'Something ain't right about that WTC& Building goin' down like that."

"Bush Admits He Saw First Plane Hit the Tower and Knew It was Deliberate."

"President Confesses He's Not Sure Which Plane Was Hitting What Tower, that He Saw."

"Vice President Admits He Should Have Apologized for the Shooting and Not Demand One from the Shot."

"Cheney Admits to Narcissism and a Tendency to Want to Rule the World."

"Cheney Gets Plastic Surgery to Repair the Sneer."

"Condi Rice Admits, 'Ok, we do torture. Happy now?'"

"President Bush Admits He's Probably the Worst President to Ever Attempt to Encourage and Lead the Free World in the History of America."

"President Admits He'd Love to Cancel the Elections and Be the Dictator."

"America Chants 'Remember, Remember...You're All Through in November."

"Democratic Congress Does It's Job. Members Declare, 'I'm not in this for the money.'"

"Jesus Admits He Can't Fix the Damage Done By the Bush Family-Cancels Second Coming and Joins an Ashram."

"Bush Administration Goes For Counseling."

 

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Dennis Diehl is a former pastor of 26 years,  who outgrew the Literalism of Fundamentalism.  He writes about Pastoral and Church abuse and is available to speak on such topics or be helpful to any church suffering under abusive (more...)
 

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