OpEdNews has the exclusive transcript:

(Alabama) Senator Hillary Clinton: I’m Hillary Clinton, ya'll, and as Jesus Christ is my witness, I approve this message.

You know, I’ve spent a lot of time in churches, holding my gun, reading my biblicical versus, and, well, thinkin’ about Jesus.

I've spent many Sundays with my dad where we grew up in Alabama or Bosnia or Tennessee…well, just picture a nice little ol’ church somewhere in the South, don’t matter where, with the choir singing and the pretty little cherrybums all on the mantl—altar, of God, and whatnot. Everybody was real dignified and polite-like.

You know, that’s how politics used to be, back in the days of the Reverend Samuel Adams. My favorite quote of his was, “Give me polite politics or give me a respectful death.” He also said that the, and I quote, "activist base of the Democratic Party is a threat to the established order," so he was a nice young man, too.

You know what? That’s how politics ought to be still. SOME people think otherwise. As a career politician, I’ve seen many a bunch of crack-up, nut-jobs goin’ runin’ around here like their hair is burning, screaming about the devil. They’re all like: “Let’s end this war.” And I’m like, “How ‘bout you shut yer pie holes.” And they’re all like, “Make me.” And I’m like, “Make me make you,” cause, you know, they’re never expecting that. And then they go, “Well how can we top that?” You know?

So yeah, I’ve got a lot of good comebacks. One time a guy on a bus told me he could please women, and I was like, “And if you sit there, this seat’ll be open too.” No, I mean, he was looking to sit down, he was asking if the seat next to me was up for the pickin'. He was pretty old, come to think about it, and he was carrying a television, so I don’t know. He eventually sat down on the floor until the paramedics came. So, you know. Don’t mess with me, you know?

So anyways, I just wanted to level with y’all, ‘cause somehow, there’s this impression out there that I’m opposed to the war in Iraq. However; I know most Democrats know that I support the Iraq War. It's like somebody said, "I measure victory by success," you know?

I know that you Democrats want America to "fight the war over there, so we don’t have to fight it here." I know you “support the troops” and believe that these “colors don’t run” and that “freedom isn’t free.” I know that you Democrats can’t wait to invade Iran and keep permanent bases in Iraq.

That’s why it’s easy for me to be honest with you. Why would I have to keep my foreign policy disagreements with the kook fringe activist base of the Democratic Party a secret? There’s only like 47 of these nut-jobs anyway.