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Seeking Refugee Status or, Lenny Bruce Was a Conservative

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   If only there was a Berlin wall to scale or porous border to escape through, but there is no escape there is no railroad underground or over ground or otherwise to escape to freedom. As a society to be water boarded and allowed only the freedom to complain about the temperature of the water as I gasp for air. For this is corporate freedom, it is not that you will be beaten down but that you may only complain about the size of the club that hits you and not the number of times your hit and then only if you fill out the appropriate forms, sign here. Why don’t you find a free speech zone and complain? of course the

 President can open your mail with out a warrant don’t you want to be free?

 

Our soldiers are fighting and dying in a phony war to keep you phony safe from phony enemies three thousand dead in three years but that’s not so bad so what they were only the little people after all. Don’t you watch the puppet show? Punch is good Judy is bad, pay attention!  Billions and billions the peace dividend? Don’t make me laugh! But a real enemy? Stalking everyday and taking and taking eighteen thousand a year, fifty four thousand since the bungle in Baghdad began, no health insurance. Boo hoo screw you we must stay competitive that's our mantra and we are sticking to it, don’t make us be repetitive.

 

For don’t you understand it’s a free world now, you must compete with the third world pimps and whores so spread your legs and smile! You are free now from the slavery of the awful protectionism of wages and prices, sure they work their children at gunpoint but you are free here! In this country you get to choose who holds the gun on you! So you should feel lucky! Why won’t you just watch the puppet show? Punch is good Judy is bad! It’s really quite obvious, that’s what’s making you so unhappy if you would only let the educated think for you then you would be so much happier. The corporate executives wouldn’t put them on the air if it wasn’t true.

 

There is no global warming sixty-eight degrees in January is a fluke, why the Exxon study proved it! The water wasn’t rising that island sank, and people don’t want electric cars General Motors said so! And people like their food additives the Archer Daniels Midland web site took a poll. See now you’ve got me so upset, I must watch television to see what new pharmaceutical drug can relax me without pickling my liver or making my penis fall off. Punch says this one but Judy says that one, who to trust? Oh wait Punch is good Judy is bad!

 

Our own individual Katrina’s as the economic floodwaters crash over the walls as we float towards the debt ceiling looking for the rescue boats of decent paying jobs. We don’t care about whole cities so why should we care about you as individuals? The Bible? What! Your kidding right? Why yes of course we love Jesus but only from a distance! If he comes around here we will kill him again! We’ve got a restraining order you know and you’re in trouble just for speaking his name on corporate property when it’s not an election year?

 

Try to understand, if we were to help our own citizens how could we send millions to foreign governments trying to maintain democracy at the point of a gun and it’s not so easy to do. Why sometimes we must supply weapons and aid to both sides just to maintain the appearance of being fair. Then when the shooting starts we must give them more aid to help them rebuild their countries and then resupply their weapons and besides why should we as a people help you go to college or help your mother with her prescriptions? I bet your mothers not even incorporated. This is a free country your just as free as the money you’ve got in your pocket.

 

Besides can’t you see the pundits trolling through the floodwaters bashing the victims over the heads with their oars. Oh you don’t like that! What’s your bright idea Mr. Smart Guy I’ll have you know that both Punch and Judy left their estates in Palm Beach and went all the way to their studios just to do their parts during the disaster. You don’t like Punch or Judy? What’s wrong with you? You must be a crazy person, insane and way out on the fringe Mr. Tin foil hat. Don’t you love you’re country? Punch says you don’t Judy says you do you just don’t love it enough.

 

You lament a few million stray cats and dogs run down on the highway of short term economic adjustment instead of extolling the hundreds of success stories. Why look at that new gleaming office tower we were able to build it with corporate profit alone and only had to evict a few homeless to build it and when we can get the occupancy up to fifty percent it will be profitable. Why oh why don’t you listen to Punch? They’re hungry because they want to be! They don’t want jobs and besides they should have studied harder in school and learned to be Mexican or Chinese. Why can’t you understand it’s their own fault!

 If you continue in this vein I shall have to report you, I’m as much in favor of freedom as the next person but with in limits! You can’t shout justice in a crowded boardroom. But your speaking heresy now,  a country that cares for it’s people? I just can’t listen any more! I’m turning up the radio now I’m turning up Punch so I won’t have to hear you! You’re out of your mind who’s ever heard of a country that cares for it’s citizens! I’ll keep my freedom thank you!

 

I was born and raised in Chicago in a liberal Democratic home my Grandfather was a labor union organizer my Father a Democratic district committeeman my Mother was an election judge. My earliest memories were of passing out Kennedy yard signs from (more...)
 

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I enjoyed your witty and incisive article.  T... by carl on Saturday, May 5, 2007 at 11:29:39 PM