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What Jews Are and Are Not - part Two

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Introduction: In view of all the Jew-bashing that is taking place because of Israel's response to Arab Muslim atrocities, I have decided to shed some light on the nature of Jews in general. Because the picture I present covers a lot of ground, I am dividing it in segments. To view Part One for essential background, go to Writers Archives and click on my name after you scroll down to the W's. Be advised that you will be reading generalizations which do not pertain to all Jews of every variety. They should be read as characteristics common to the majority of Jews, nothing more. BHW

Jews are brilliant scientists, physicians, engineers, agriculturists, lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists, teachers, and military strategists who as Israelis have defeated combined Arab forces vastly outnumbering them in four wars (some put the number at five). If Hitler had concentrated solely on restoring post-World War II Germany to physical and economic health (his Nazi Party succeeded while the other parties failed), while disguising his goals of wiping out the Jews and subjecting other countries to Nazi rule, he might have obtained the ability from German Jewish physicists to produce nuclear weapons before the U.S. did, and he thus might have been able to force all nations on earth to surrender to him and his National Socialists. (Einstein is just one of the names that comes to mind.)


Jews are merchants, corporate executives, workers on corporate assembly lines, bartenders, waiters, waitresses, taxicab drivers, and many other types of workers in categories unfortunately labeled "menial." But as for the "international Jew banker conspiracy" that has the world by its collective testicles according to various kinds of Jew-bashers, if that were true it would be the most spectacular achievement of Jews in their entire history. For Jews constitute a tiny percentage of the bankers probably no more than two percent and so they would have to be controlling all the rest by some kind of unimaginable super power.


Jews love humor, and there is no kind of humor they love more than that which pokes fun at themselves and certain aspects of Judaism. When individuals or groups make disparaging remarks about their religion and its scriptures, they do not respond by issuing a fatwah or by trying to organize a holy war on the offenders. With the usual exceptions, they laugh it off. For example, in regard to the biblical command to keep kosher (clean), when somebody notes that Jews eat ham or bacon, the cooked flesh of an animal that is not to be used for food according to the Old Testament, the question from the disparager may be how that ham or bacon is to be made kosher. A Jew is likely to respond: "The rabbi spits on it." One reason it becomes so easy for Jews to react in that manner is that the vast majority do not keep kosher. Give them ham or bacon that tastes good, and they will love it and bless you for the gift. (By the way, some of the most delicious salami and pickles you can find anywhere are the products of kosher food producers.)


Jews like to be rewarded with money for what they do. When they provide services free or contribute to charity, on the other hand, they do not ask to be paid money in return. They want a reward for example, in regard to rich Jews who contribute money to synagogues, in return they want and get their names inscribed on the siddurs (prayer books) used for services, and they want and get the front seats reserved for them on the high holy days. What makes them different from the holy Christians and Muslims in regard to these characteristics? They are out front about their motives, and they laugh along with their distracters at the jokes that emanate from the ways they use to get what they want. Here is one of their favorites that also encompasses another characteristic of Jews: practicality. Cohen asks the rabbi, on behalf of himself and his wife, to barmitzvah (consecrate by a special ceremony in the synagogue the arrival of a boy at age 13) their pet dog. Disgusted, the rabbi scoffs at him. "But you do not understand," Cohen explains. "My wife and I are childless. Our dog is all we have. Please, rabbi, barmitzvah our dog." Indignantly, the rabbi responds: "I will not hear of such rubbish. We do not barmitzvah a dog in the synagogue." Cohen pulls out his checkbook. "Rabbi, the synagogue needs money for the building fund to erect a new wing. If you will agree to barmitzvah our dog, I will immediately write out a check to the building fund for fifty thousand dollars." To this the rabbi replies: "Now, then, as to the necessary formalities for the announcement, what is your dog's name in Hebrew?"


[To be continued.]

 


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' In view of all the Jew-bashing that is taking pl... by Hamish on Tuesday, Aug 8, 2006 at 6:30:53 AM
Repeat: clearly rather than admiration or apathy t... by amazin on Thursday, Aug 10, 2006 at 6:00:17 AM