Last night my wife and I started watching a few minutes into the CBS evening news, the one that starts at 6:30 after we both get home from work. On the screen, at the news desk and out in the field, Very Serious Journalists were discussing The Crisis and Very Seriously concluding that American voters like to see how Presidential candidates handle this type of Crisis.
One in our position could be forgiven for becoming concerned or even a little panicky in the age of two wars and the threat of a third one that could cause World War III, a collapsing economy, food riots all over the world, gasoline and food prices skyrocketing here, growing water shortages, a wacky climate and terrorists, terrorists everywhere.
Should we get the duct tape back out?
AND the plastic sheeting?
Should we uncover our collection of vintage wooden school desks and duck and cover under them?
What foul manner of evil hath plagued our fair land?
What man, beast or ill fate has furrowed so many Serious Brows?
What disaster offers such a true and consequential test for the mettle of a candidate for leader of the free world?
What, oh what dire events do Jeff and Katie pontificate over Walter Cronkite’s former chair in such dark and somber tones?
And then a voice came to answer my queries, to explain The Crisis to me. And the voice said:
A guy gave a speech.
Yeah, and everyone is really mad at another guy who used to hang out with him.
You cannot be serious.
Oh, really, can’t you see my brow? How furrowed it is? No, you don’t understand, this guy said some things that made some people uncomfortable.
And here I threw away the plastic sheeting in ‘03.