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George Bush and The Cat in The Hat

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Once upon a time
The Cat in the Hat
George Bush and I
Had a big spat.

One summer day,
Just after three
My mother said,
"I 'm going for tea. "

She went out the door
And in two seconds flat
Out of the closet
Came the Cat in the Hat.

"It 's time to have fun, "
Said the Cat in the Hat
"Let 's watch TV,
Nothing 's better than that. "

He went to our den
And without saying please
Turned on the FOX news
Which quivered my knees.

"I always watch this, "
Said the Cat with a grin.
"They take all the news
And then give it a spin. "

Bill O 'Reilly was on
And he made me cry
"Stop sniveling, " said Cat,
"Want a poke in the eye? "

I cowered in fear
And covered my tush
When onto FOX news
Came our President Bush.
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"I love him, " said Cat
"He 's simply the best
He 's stalwart and brave
He passes each test. "

I shouldn 't have argued
I 'm only a kid
But I had to point out
The bad things Bush did.

"What about Iraq?
He lied and deceived
Distorted the facts
Fudged what we believed. "

"Tut tut, " said the Cat
"Surely you jest
We must sacrifice
Be put to the test. "

Then Bush gave a speech
The crowd began cheering
He said that the war 's
End was now nearing.
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"The going is tough
And we 'll surely win
I just can 't say how
Nor do I know when. "

"Hmm, " said the Cat,
"Iraq seems a mess.
But Dubya 's my hero
He 'll be a success. "

Before I could think
The words tumbled out,
"You imbecile Cat
You 're never in doubt.

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Bob Burnett is a Berkeley writer. In a previous life he was one of the executive founders of Cisco Systems.

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