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Citizens for Outsourcing Political Jobs

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By: Barbara Tutor, March 3, 2006

Forget Impeachment. It will take too long to get a new Congress elected. And besides, with Free Trade, Free Markets, Ports for Sale, Open Borders, and Outsourcing in vogue; it 's time to think outside the box and outsource all political positions, both elected and appointed. Why muddle around with elections, aggravating machines that voters can 't trust, all those campaign contributions, candidate fundraising for TV ads, lobbyists, and negative campaigns?

Don 't have to worry about limitations or rules, there are none. It can be any foreign individual, foreign company, or foreign country. Think about the bargains, as well as the benefits. And speaking of benefits, maybe we could hire one of those countries with National Healthcare for all the people; or get some of that cut-rate gas by outsourcing the Department of Energy to Venezuela. Don 't forget the prime position at the National Park Service; deserted islands and wild forests could become the National Park worker 's vacation alternative to Disney World 's shallow terrain. Perhaps we could get our National Forests back from the timber industry, cattle ranchers, and oil companies; as well as get our public beaches restored.

Since outsourcing can result in downsizing as well; how about eliminating the Department of Defense and just letting the National Guard handle Homeland Security? Just think of all the money taxpayers will save. Social Security will be a "Slam Dunk " for all those baby boomers. A huge dividend would be realized by eliminating the need for intelligence; all the international officials will already know what 's going on in the other nations. Some of them could even sign both sides of a treaty.

Speaking of treaties, let 's consult with Evo Morales, the indigenous Indian from Bolivia who was just elected President, to see what can be done about making good on all those broken treaties at the Bureau of Indian Affairs by giving Indian Country in the U.S. its independence. After releasing American Indian Activist, Leonard Peltier, from the prison he has been serving in for over 30 years on trumped-up COINTEL charges by the FBI, we could outsource the Department of Treasury under his leadership. Most of the banking capital was built on land deals from Indian Territories anyway.

Finally, for that darling duo, Dubya and Friendly-Fire; a definite merger is called for. Nelson Mandela should be able to handle both jobs with ease, particularly with nuclear disarmament and world peace on the policy agenda. Hell, he should also be able to handle hurricanes and shore-up this country 's racial divide.
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As they say up in the hills of Allegheny, "Time 's a wastin '. "
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Barbara Tutor is a Social Activist, Writer, Systems Analyst, and Nature Lover residing in Wild Wonderful West Virginia.

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