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February 27, 2008 at 13:43:22
Madam Jane predicts the future: "No Country for Old Cows..." by Jane Stillwater Page 1 of 3 page(s) |
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I have gone to the grocery store and purchased a quart of milk so many times during the course of my life that it would take me quite a while to add all those times up.
When I was around eight years old, my mother would give me a quarter and I would walk down to the Capuchino Food Mart, buy some milk and then walk back home. We lived on Park Blvd in Millbrae and the Food Mart was five blocks away. And my mother would always let me use the change to buy a piece of Fleer's Double Bubble.
Nowadays I just walk across the street to the Berkeley Bowl and buy my milk there. I've lived next to the Bowl for the last 28 years. I know every aisle layout by heart. I know all the clerks. And, hopefully, I will be buying a quart of milk there once or twice a week for the NEXT 28 years.
"Sorry but that's not going to happen," spoke up Madam Jane.
Excuse me?
"At the recent presidential primary debate in Cleveland between Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama, they talked about healthcare and fair campaign practices and being stalwart friends of Israel and NAFTA and the new Bush-McCain clone. But neither one of the debaters mentioned milk."
Milk? Huh? What were they supposed to do? Debate the merits of low-fat milk vs. fat-free?
"Let's take a closer look at that quart. What does the future hold for milk?"
Cheerios and oatmeal?
"First of all, what about the grass that cows eat? Does it need to be pollinated in order to re-seed? And if so, will it need to be pollinated by bees? Bees are in big trouble right now because of insecticides and paracites and all the bees in North America may be dead in a few years. That means that we will no longer be able to buy any fruits or vegetables that are bee-pollinated."
But grass is wind-pollinated. I think.
"Now let's talk about the weather changes coming up. Can you walk to the store to buy that quart of milk when there is five feet of snow on the ground? Or will your store still get supplied with milk during a tornado? Or can they get cows to produce milk in 145-degree heat?"
So you put the cows in a barn with air-conditioning and central heating.
"And where is the gas and electricity going to come from to run the A/C?"
The Middle East?
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Milk, sure
....but where's "Sugar"? Er, I mean, Chighur. No, this aint no country for old cows. Pretty soon, it aint gonna be no country for old nuddin. I'd been wonderin how to put my feelings into words to describe how I felt while I listened to that there debate. Couldn't quite figure it out. Old Mary would've have an easier time of it all, seein as she's all couped up with arthritis and her pc and her cats all day. Me, I got this bunged up back keepin me assured I'm still alive. Sometimes, I'd rather be out there chasin real milk instead. When's the last time you had any real milk? For me it was 26 years ago. Maybe 27. Got it right off a cow. The city boy I am, I thought it wasn't pure enough or clean enough to drink. Us city folk have problems ya know. Real problems. Sometimes, I think our biggest problem is that there electricity we have comin in the house all the time. It has a way of makin us lazy. Thanks, Jane. Loved this one. curt by Tony Forest (7 articles, 18 quicklinks, 166 diaries, 1429 comments [5 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Thursday, Feb 28, 2008 at 2:47:35 PM  (0+)
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