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I have seen men march to the wars, and then I have watched their homeward tread, And they brought back bodies of living men, But their eyes were cold and dead: Edmund Vance Cooke This Memorial Day let us pay homage not just to the soldiers who have died for their country ~ but also to the walking dead ~ the victims of Post Traumatic Stress Dysfunction ( P.T.S.D) ~ whose emotionally damaged psyches still carry the heavy burden of killing for their country where quite often those killed were innocent women and children. There eyes are indeed cold and dead ~ for their maimed souls have sunk into the quicksand of unworthiness. They cannot accept love for they feel they do not deserve love and they continually sabotage their joy for the same reason ~ their hearts have closed and they live in the Gray Zone where no light can penetrate and no one dare enter. Frank was such a person. He was a Vietnam Vet in his mid 50's and most of his post Vietnam life had been spent running away from love. It was beginning to effect his health and his daughter Nina pleaded with him to see me. Nina is a former client and graduate of my short term seven session transformation self-healing therapy. ( see Radical Therapy ) Frank consented for part of him longed for another choice versus his loveless Gray Zone. The following is a brief synopsis of those sessions and Frank's ultimate emergence from his cocoon of unworthiness ~ by fully opening his heart. Session One - Finding the Child Within Yourself I explain my role as your 'coach', and demonstrate how you can use childhood pictures to locate the child within yourself who closed their heart and emotionally stopped growing. The intent of this session is to touch the trapped child within yourself and begin the self-healing process. I accomplish this by sharing my own quest to find my trapped inner child and by utilizing the Cycle of Life to graphically illustrate how and why we separate from who we truly are. Frank had emotionally separated from himself in Vietnam whereas his deep psychic pain and guilt had overridden his innate innocence and joy and he could not get beyond this well of grief and shame . He found a picture of himself as a young and joyful child and I told him if he did his homework he would reunite with him. Session Two - understanding Your Life as a Quest with a Lifechart This session demonstrates how to use the homework from the first session (creating a Lifechart) to retrace the major events and relationships of your life in terms of feelings of joy versus feelings of pain and despair. Special emphasis is put on those relationships that profoundly touched your heart. You quickly begin to see your life as a Quest, rather than a struggle, when it becomes obvious that you have recreated your original childhood predicament with parental figures in your primary relationships in a subconscious attempt to reunite with the emotionally trapped child within. Frank's lifechart clearly showed that the great love of his post Vietnam life was his daughter Nina and that without her ~ he probably would have committed suicide. His homework was to share his revealing lifechart with Nina and also his sister ~ who had always been there for him. I am sure I was the first person who really had the chance to truly see Frank's life quest but by immediately sharing his chart with his daughter and sister he was beginning to let others in. Session Three - Taking Accountability for Your Life The preparation work is now over: You have seen your life as a quest to find and embrace yourself through the Lifechart and you are now able to understand the significance of key relationships. This session introduces the crucial victim/accountability exercise. During this exercise, you will feel the heaviness and powerlessness of being a victim, versus the lightness and power of being accountable for the decisions you made that either created or avoided pain with the people you loved.
Take action -- click here to contact your local newspaper or congress people: Click here to see the most recent messages sent to congressional reps and local newspapers http://www.allenroland.com Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on Conscious talk radio www.conscioustalk.net
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