On the anniversary of my beloved grandfathers passing on, many years ago, I am reminded of how those who we love deeply become part of us forever.
I still have a vivid feeling memory imprint of love leaping from my heart to my grandfather's heart as a very young child ~ and emotionally I am still that little boy who could love so deeply.
Since love is not only deepest within us but also connects us to everyone and everything we see around us ~ how fortunate it is to know that those who we love deeply do indeed become part of us forever.
In that sense, my grandfather not only lives in my heart but has appeared several times, during my life, in vivid dreams. Also, every person I have deeply loved in relationship also lives in my heart and at some subliminal level we are and will always be connected.
However, never do we see this mystery more clearly than in the months after a loved one dies ~ that is, if our heart is open and not closed in grief.
Glenn Colquhoun, a poet who discovered new perspectives by spending time with Maori people, writes of how he enters the garden after his grandfather's death and feels him right nearby, with "all the cries of morning" around him:
THE BIRD
My grandfather was a bird.
Underneath his white hair he wore crayon-coloured feathers.
They were of broiling gold and of burning red and of drowning blue.
One was green the colour of a single blade of grass.
When he walked ahead of me I could see from his stride how he flew in the branches of trees.
When his hand curled in my hair I could feel him perching around me.
When he worked on the end of a shovel I found how his arms spread wide in a turn.
And when he stood over a bed full of flowers I saw that his eyes gathered what shone on the ground for his nest.
When he was gone I remember him sitting in a tree in a garden which he had planted.
Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on Conscious talk radio www.conscioustalk.net
