You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper if...
You have to give Jeff Foxworthy credit: he doesn't mind deprecation, especially self-deprecation. The man who coined the phrase "You might be a redneck, if...." and hosted "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" is getting set for some more deprecatory comments, even from some of his own fans.
Even without knowing much about the exact format of the program, The American Bible Challenge, it doesn't take a fifth grader to sense that the show will produce some very embarrassing, unintended moments.
From Punchline Magazine:
Part of the show will be centered around the contestant's home lives, as the network explained their personal stories will be shared with the audience. Contestants will form teams and will represent "worthy faith-based organizations," to which all cash won will go, according to GSN. The show pilot is scheduled to shoot later this month.
Foxworthy has promised to "to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way."That was done by pop historian Kenneth C. Davis in his book "Don't Know Much About The Bible."* It didn't go over well with Fundamentalists.
KJV, NIV or PPP (Pure Pulpit Pimp)?
So which version of the Bible will Foxworthy use for his questions? If he doesn't use the King James Version, he's going to rile some people. Then again, saying all those "thees" "thous" "sayeths" and "begats" will make for more archaic-sounding buffoonery.
Foxworthy will also be walking a fine line in other areas: will interpretation have anything to do with the questions? Will the Bible be presented as absolute fact? Will he skirt socio-political issues such as homosexuality? Will he lean towards the David Barton history and mindset of EVERYTHING being set in the Bible? How Dominionist will he get? More pertinent: will the contestants be culled from our most visible Christian Right leaders? Can you imagine:
JF: "The Old Testament mentions the Witch of Endor. Where is Endor?"
Cindy Jacobs: "Was it shaped like a dragon?"
Pat Robertson: "I don't know, but I think it signed a pact with the devil."
JF: What was the sin of Sodom?
Bryan Fischer: Making the first homosexuals, therefore the first N*zis.
Tony Perkins: Homosexual activists forced Lot's daughters to become lesbians.
JF: How many wives did King Solomon Have?
Robert Jeffress: I don't know, but he was definitely not a member of the Mormon cult.
JF: Did God want the Israelites to slay all the Amelekites?
Ann Coulter: He only wanted them to slay their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Sean Hannity: He didn't want to slay them at all, only waterboard them.
Other guests might include Chuck Norris, David Barton, Stephen Baldwin, Victoria Jackson, Michele Bachmann, Tim Tebow, Linda Harvey, Kirk Cameron, Rick Perry, Bishop Eddie Long... and anyone Southern Baptist. The possibilities are endless.
Unfortunately, they might be much more interesting than the people Foxworthy considers sincere and knowledgeable, turning American Bible Challenge into one boring romp, a forum devoid of meaning...or entertainment.
*I highly recommend this book for the simple reason that it brings out all the discrepancies. Some of Davis' historical standpoints have been challenged, but the fact remains that Fundamentalists and Evangelicals hate him for calling them out. E.G.: there are TWO creations, the New Testament was not written by Matthew Mark, Luke and John and God couldn't seem to get his Son's birthday right.