Will a Landslide Bring You Down?

Yesterday's vote produced good news for Virginians who like their leaders extra-crazy. Republican Bob McDonnell won a “landslide” victory over Democrat Creigh Deeds in yesterday's gubernatorial election, much to the delight of the rapture-right, who doubtless saw this as further proof of the eminent return of . . . The Messiah. McDonnell won by promoting jobs and infrastructure improvements, while keeping his uber-Christian, ultra-right-wing agenda neatly tucked inside his perky auburn hairdo.

It's not such good news for women, gays, or divorcees, as McDonnell infamously skewered in his 1989 Master's thesis at Regent University. Yes, that's the school founded by Pat “Blame The Queers And The ACLU For 9/11″ Robertson. McDonnell feigned some kind of amnesia during the campaign when questioned about the radical beliefs expressed in his writing, then said that his views had moderated since then. Oh really? What part? The portion about feminists destroying family, or the dangers posed by the Sodomites?

According to The Washington Post, his Master's Thesis, titled The Republican Party's Vision for the Family: The Compelling Issue of The Decade, argued for “covenant marriage, a legally distinct type of marriage intended to make it more difficult to obtain a divorce; advocated character education programs in public schools to teach ‘traditional' Judeo-Christian values; called for redefining child abuse to “exclude parental spanking”; lamented the "purging of religious influence" from public schools [and] criticized federal tax credits for child care expenditures because they encouraged women to enter the workforce, stating that "Further expenditures would be used to subsidize a dynamic new trend of working women and feminists that is ultimately detrimental to the family by entrenching status-quo of nonparental primary nurture of children." (He added that) feminism is among the "real enemies of the traditional family." Even more disturbing, as TPMuckracker points out, McDonnell cited the creation of “family” (or as he calls it, “God-ordained government”) in the Garden of Eden as an example of why government had no role in deciding “gay rights” or alternative lifestyle living arrangements:

The family as an institution existed antecedent to civil government, and hence is not subject to being defined by it. It is in the law of Nature of the created Order that the Creator instituted marriage and family in Eden, where He ordained that “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Family arises out of this divinely-created covenant of marriage between a man and woman, the terms of which can neither be originally set nor subsequently altered by the parties or the state. (pg. 19)

McDonnell adds: “[W]hen the exercise of liberty takes the shape of pornography, drug abuse, or homosexuality, the government must restrain, punish, and deter” (pg. 26). And he blasts efforts to “redefine family by allowing special rights,” not just for “homosexuals,” but for “single-parent unwed mothers” (pgs. 72-73).

So, there you go, Virginia. Break out your burquas, chastity belts, and wooden spanking paddles! McDonnell is in the house! Or, rather, the Governor's Mansion! Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll rapture out of there real quick. The election results are not that surprising, sorry to say, as Democratic challenger Creigh Deeds has as much personality and charisma as a Q-tip, and Virginians have a long history of voting against the White House in off-year elections. That said, they typically have saner options.

The less colorful but more significant election result last night was in the special Congressional election in upstate New York, where Bill Owens defeated Doug Hoffman and became the first Democrat to win the 23rd district in over 120 years. The vote was the result of fractured GOP infighting and, ultimately,a rejection of the birthers/tea partiers/deathers lunatic agendas.

In a nutshell, the Owens victory is a result of two rather bizarre women -- Sarah Palin (Crazy Woman-AK) and the Republican nominee, state Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafava, whose pro-gay-rights moderate Republican agenda wasn't sufficiently loony for the Neocons (hello Michelle Bachman!) who backed third party candidate Hoffman instead. So Scozzafava withdrew from the race on the eve of the election and endorsed Owens. (Scozzafava's name remained on the ballot, and she received about 5 percent of votes.)

I love it when the Republicans self destruct. Expect more of it in the midterm, unless the titular head of the GOP (that would be Rush “Deaf by Temptation” Limbaugh) teams with Newt “Serial Adulterer” Gingrich and Glenn “Tears of a Clown” Beck and magically glues the party back together under some common cause . . . say, the revision of the Constitution to eliminate women, gays, and minorities from owning property or something.

Wait a sec, didn't McDonnell already advocate that in his “thesis?”