CNN this morning broadcast a breaking story about a exciting wild-animal hunt underway. Seems a group of dangerous wild animals escaped from a private refuge and were terrorizing a local community. Some of the animals have been put down, while others are still at large. The good news is -- authorities were able to tranquilize Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich before they attacked.
CNN last night had a real dog-n-pony show going on in Vegas. Forget "Circus Circus" and Tony Bennett, the latest GOP "debate" was the best show in town. For a moment it seemed Mitt Romney and Perry were going to duke it out with dueling cans of AquaNet over who hired the most illegal immigrants. All the candidates argued over who would build the biggest fence to block and/or electrocute so-called "illegals" from entering the US.
Poor Ron Paul looked like he's a victim of a famine personally caused by Newt Gingrich. (Newt who?)
Isn't Ronnie too old to be wearing his Daddy's shirts? Did somebody take him shopping at the Big and Tall store as a joke? Or maybe in a effort to display his ultra-Libertarian "self-made-man" independence, he's taken to sewing his own clothes.
Herman Cain spent much of the evening defending his "9-9-9 Plan" which, no matter how you spin it, still sounds like a commercial for a special deal on Godfather's Pizza. "Two Medium Pies with nine toppings for just $9.99!" Black Walnut may be the favorite flavor, but without an organization, the Cain campaign better stick with the sauce.
Fortunately, Michele Bachmann took the advice to abandon the porn-star tousled locks for a more sleek conservative style before audience members started pelting her with condoms. Somebody on her (dwindling and hostile) staff should've stuffed a corndog in her mouth, however, before she waxed idiotic on the subject of the Pentagon budget.
The real winner of the debates last night? Jon Huntsman, who had the foresight to stay home. The GOP should nominate him by default.