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October 13, 2008 at 12:30:24

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Where Can I Get a Lockbox?

by Liz ODonnell     Page 1 of 1 page(s)

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The most important discovery for me so far during this election year is that of the testicle lockbox.  I had never heard of such a device until Rush Limbaugh started referring to Senator Hillary Clinton as having one. I was at once intrigued. This mysterious box seemed to make Mr. Limbaugh nervous and I assume it was somehow connected to MSNBC's Tucker Carlson's involuntary leg-crossing every time he heard Senator Clinton speak. Then I read that Senator McCain was in one of these lockboxes after he choose Governor Palin as his running mate. I had to know more.  

I found this description of the testicle lockbox on UrbanDictionary.com.

"A figurative device, in which a woman holds a man's manhood, preventing him from acting as per his natural state. Implicit in this arrangement is that the woman has means of reprisal against the man, and should he misbehave, grave consequences await."-

 

I have to get one.

I don't plan to actually use my lockbox. I just want to possess it. I want to take it to work with me and display it on my desk. I think my lockbox will help me feel better when one of my coworkers, despite my correcting him weekly, continues to refer to the "girls"- in the office. 

I plan to subtlety pick it up the next time the facilities manager comes into my office to fix my broken heater and says, "I'd be happy to keep you warm."- And maybe if I bring my lockbox into the conference room during the next team meeting, the boss won't just ask for input from all of the male vice-president's in the room. He might ask the opinion of the female directors too.

 

I definitely want to pack my lockbox the next time I travel with our sales rep. Maybe if he knows I'm wielding one of these devices he will refrain from commenting on the breasts of all of the women we see. And when he refers to me again as a "ball-buster,"- like he did three times on our last trip, he will be correct both figuratively and literally.

 

Liz O'Donnell is a freelance writer from Dedham, Massachusetts. She writes about F words, feminism, forties, fashion and family.

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

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5 comments


The lockbox

Rush Limbaugh's testicles are in a lock box owned by greedy multinational corporations. His daily radio show blames liberals for all the worlds problems and the connections he makes can often times be quite a stretch. I want to see Rushes testicles returned to him so he can get on the airwaves and shout the truth. He can tell the world that the Republican parties sole interest is to support the agenda of big business on a global scale and that it cares nothing about America or any Americans who make less than million a year. To the Republican party, And some Democrats, Americans are nothing more than business equipment or human capital. labor costs must be reduced with no method considered unethical. Slavery is the goal for this party of big greedy multinationals.

by Gary Denson (2 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 283 comments) on Monday, Oct 13, 2008 at 5:17:55 PM

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You are wrong...

I listen to Rush everyday and there are times that I agree to disagree with him, although I will disgree with you on the statement you made concerning that Rush always points the finger at the liberals. With one of the issues being amnesty to illegal immigrants (if you can differentiate between legal and illegal, that is), he has referred to South Carolina Senator Lindsay Graham as "Grahamnesty".  He has also knocked several other politicians of almost every party, as many times as he has praised them for certain statements they've made or things they have accomplished. Being a conservative talk show host, I can say that he has made non-partisan statements several occasions.

Must be a case of selective hearing. However, if you are referring to the current bailout situation, the only thing the Republicans can be blamed for, is that there are too many wusses, willing to go along with the bill that was signed for $850 billion. The irony? This so-called "emergency rescue bill" is going on for yet another week and now, the Dems are about to tack an addition onto it! Some "emergency". It's more like "Let's get the earmarks in, before we get voted out of office for the irresponsibility we've exhibited."

by Lisa Clark (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 32 comments) on Monday, Oct 13, 2008 at 6:42:55 PM

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Reply: See my article

Read my article on illegal immigration.

by Gary Denson (2 articles, 0 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 283 comments) on Tuesday, Oct 14, 2008 at 8:41:06 PM

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Some don't need an actual device . . .

. . . for some, it comes naturally.  At one time there were official memberships and the mere mention of CCC was sufficient warning. . .

by sometimes blinded (4 articles, 106 quicklinks, 14 diaries, 614 comments [51 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Monday, Oct 13, 2008 at 8:09:16 PM

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Anybody Know

does Cindy have to wait to be Mrs Prez to access the hotline to FEMA to check out Sarah's lockbox?

by hommedespoir (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 55 comments [32 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Monday, Oct 13, 2008 at 11:52:44 PM

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