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Life Arts

To the Motherless on Mother's Day--Part 2

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by Naberacka

Since writing my To the Motherless on Mother's Day piece, I have heard several fresh stories from people with extreme and painful mother stories.

While not wanting to publicize their responses, many personal messages on the subject of being emotionally motherless while having a biological mother who remains physically alive, seemed to flood into my email.

I began to wonder how this experience of mother, this toxic state of   mothering, could be so common, even pandemic, and yet remain so undercover.   How off the track these secret stories are from how mothers are recalled by adult children in print, conversation, on the month of May walls of buildings, stores, Facebook, and blog pages.

It seems unfair, and wildly so, how unrepresented the motherless are in the celebratory parade of euphoria that is Mother's Day.

"Tell your mother you love her" is the mantra on every broadcast.

"Call your mother today" is on the lips of every so-called expert.

I realize that there must be a thick wall of shame for adult children who were born into a world with a mentally unwell mother.

Sometimes people try to speak about this secret and the shame of it, only to be shut down by other people's

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aggressive discomfort and alarm.

The society teaches that the mother is sacred.

The child is soiled for not honoring the sacred mother.

Even ordinary people act as gatekeepers of this mythology, unconsciously referring to not wanting to open "cans of worms".

The problem for those adults who are motherless is that the worms are out of the can, and internally running

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In my opinion, they best be expelled and allowed to fry in the sun of truth.

It is my professional and personal experience that people are eager to talk about being emotionally motherless with a physically alive mother.

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I am a psychotherapist and media commentator. I'm interested in consciousness, awakeness, light, laughter, intelligence,entertainment,politics, and talking about how the media spins the stories we hear; how the media directs our feeling states and (more...)

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To the Motherless on Mother's Day--Part 2


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Not everyone has a mother to celebrate on Mother's... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 11:32:31 AM
I'm thinking of the past because it's Mother's Day... by Pesky Brewer on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 1:52:14 PM
Thank you for sending this tribute to those who ar... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 3:40:43 PM
Cheryl, thank you for raising this topic of which ... by Otay on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 6:38:47 PM
Thank you, Otay, for your clarity and courage.&nbs... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 12:41:19 AM
family - your words are equally adaptable for Fath... by Doc McCoy on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 8:14:18 PM
Hi Doc :) Good and wise thing to intelligently ad... by Otay on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 10:40:21 PM
allows one to put things behind them.  It get... by Doc McCoy on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 12:44:25 AM
Otay, I understand your thoughts on forgiveness.&n... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 1:26:52 AM
Otay, one more thing.  By listening to how yo... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 1:48:47 AM
30 years ago.  No regrets.  No looking b... by Doc McCoy on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 8:50:38 AM
Doc, it sounds as if you have gone through a long ... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Monday, May 13, 2013 at 1:06:45 AM
I've read your comments with real interest as well... by Otay on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at 4:51:38 PM
Thanks for clarifying where you are, Otay.   ... by Dr. Cheryl Pappas on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at 5:47:07 PM
Well, Dr. can anyone marry predation a... by Otay on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at 8:58:37 PM