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There's no quick fix, Mr. Weiner

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From http://www.flickr.com/photos/42757699@N04/9179446712/: NYC Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner
NYC Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner by Neon Tommy

Anthony Weiner, please go away.

Take your smart phone or your laptop and sex text to your heart's desire, if that's what you want. We don't need to hear or see any more of you than we have already experienced and New York City definitely does not need you as its next mayor. While you're at it, maybe get a little help for that sexting thing.

On the off chance, dear reader, that you haven't heard about Weiner's latest escapade -- maybe you don't live in the New York City area or watch late night TV talk shows that thrive on ridiculing the ridiculous -- the guy who quit Congress because he was caught sending pictures of his penis to a woman who was not his wife has done it again. This, after saying he was sorry. Wouldn't do it again. Would not put his family through the humiliation and embarrassment again. Would get it under control.

That "control" thing doesn't seem to be working. In fact, the whole sexual texting with other women went on right after he resigned from Congress and said he was going to "take care of it." He was lying through his apology.

There is so much wrong with this scenario, it's hard to know where start, but saying he should drop out of the race for mayor of New York is a good one. That he entered the Democratic primary for mayor just two years after quitting Congress (he said he had dealt with the problem) suggests an arrogance and denial, which is reinforced by the fact that he kept up the behavior even as he was "apologizing" for it. And that behavior bespeaks a kind of recklessness that most people would not find appealing in a mayor.

As long as I'm attaching adjectives to Weiner's behavior, let me add more: juvenile, irresponsible, untrustworthy, deceptive, self-indulgent, uncaring, exhibitionist, delusional, selfish, egotistical, evasive, compulsive and misogynistic.

And yet, even as he was saying I'm really, really sorry this time, honest, believe me, there were some supposedly enlightened, "progressive," liberal-leaning web sites (Salon, AlterNet, The Progress Party) who were defending Weiner, saying it was "just sex," a private matter between the serial sexter and his wife, no reason he shouldn't stay in the mayoral race. Besides, he supports gay marriage, one site pointed out.

Nonsense. First of all, any Democrat in New York City who runs for office supports gay marriage. It's irrelevant in this case. Secondly, when sexual infidelity is involved, it's never "just sex." It's also lying and cheating and sneaking and a profound breach of a fundamental trust between two people. Personally, I don't like those character traits in people in public office.

Weiner's defenders would have you believe he was just a "bad husband," but not necessarily a bad candidate. Really? In a year in which progressive web sites are trumpeting women's issues and the need for women to claim sovereignty over their bodies and their lives, they are also being told that all the things that would make them reject a man as a potential life partner shouldn't matter if he is running for public office?

Weiner's callous, prideful, even boasting approach to women who are not his wife should not count against him, it is suggested, because he is, after all, a smart, liberal Democrat. His utter disregard for women as anything but sex objects and his continued betrayal of his wife should not matter, one assumes, because we agree with him on some political issues. As if his attitudes -- and the lying, don't forget the lying -- would not carry over to his conduct in office. And as if these same defenders wouldn't be setting his hair on fire if he were a conservative Republican.

A schmuck is a schmuck, people. The fact that Weiner continued the behavior even as he was apologizing for it bespeaks either a total disregard for the rules of decent behavior, a lack of awareness of them or a feeling that they don't apply to him. None inspires confidence.

Weiner's wife came forward to defend him and say they are working things out (again). Whatever reasons she has for this (and I"m hard-pressed to find a good one) does not change the equation.

As for Weiner, some might wonder, if he's so smart, why does he keep doing dumb things? Others might say that intelligence has nothing to do with Weiner's behavior, just as it has nothing to do with compulsive, repetitive, self-destructive behavior exhibited by many other people. Let's review the adjectives I used to describe Weiner: juvenile, arrogant, reckless, irresponsible, untrustworthy, deceptive, self-indulgent, uncaring, exhibitionist, delusional, selfish, egotistical, evasive, compulsive and misogynistic.

There are rooms full of people around the country attending 12-step programs to help them deal with one type of harmful behavior or another which they cannot control. Maybe Weiner should take a break from the Internet, forget about running for mayor and take a step in another direction. Work things out in private with his wife and himself. And don't bother saying "I'm sorry," until he can prove it by his actions.

And for those web site managers who think Weiner's serial sexting is none of our business, when he keeps his privates private, he can think about running for public office.

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Bob Gaydos is a veteran of 40-plus years in daily newspapers. He began as police reporter with The (Binghamton, N.Y.) Sun-Bulletin, eventually covering government and politics as well as serving as city editor, features editor, sports editor and (more...)
 

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