The most difficult challenge in writing about the Iranian Terror Plot unveiled yesterday is to take it seriously enough to analyze it. Iranian Muslims in the Quds Force sending marauding bands of Mexican drug cartel assassins onto sacred American soil to commit Terrorism -- against Saudi Arabia and possibly Israel -- is what Bill Kristol and John Bolton would feverishly dream up while dropping acid and madly cackling at the possibility that they could get someone to believe it. But since the U.S. Government rolled out its Most Serious Officials with Very Serious Faces to make these accusations, many people (therefore) do believe it; after all, U.S. government accusations = Truth. All Serious people know that. And in the ensuing reaction one finds virtually every dynamic typically shaping discussions of Terrorism and U.S. foreign policy.
To begin with, this episode continues the FBI's record-setting undefeated streak of heroically saving us from the plots they enable. From all appearances, this is, at best, yet another spectacular "plot" hatched by some hapless loser with delusions of grandeur but without any means to put it into action except with the able assistance of the FBI, which yet again provided it through its own (paid, criminal) sources posing as Terrorist enablers. The Terrorist Mastermind at the center of the plot is a failed used car salesman in Texas with a history of pedestrian money problems. Dive under your bed. "For the entire operation, the government's confidential sources were monitored and guided by federal law enforcement agents," explained U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara, and "no explosives were actually ever placed anywhere and no one was actually ever in any danger.'"
But no matter. The U.S. Government and its mindless followers in the pundit and think-tank "expert" class have seized on this ludicrous plot with astonishing speed to all but turn it into a hysterical declaration of war against Evil, Hitlerian Iran. "The US attorney-general Eric Holder said Iran would be "held to account' over what he described as a flagrant abuse of international law," and "the US says military action remains on the table," though "it is at present seeking instead to work through diplomatic and financial means to further isolate Iran." Hillary Clinton thundered that this "crosses a line that Iran needs to be held to account for." The CIA's spokesman at The Washington Post, David Ignatius, quoted an anonymous White House official as saying the plot "appeared to have been authorized by senior levels of the Quds Force." Meanwhile, the State Department has issued a Travel Alert which warns American citizens that this plot "may indicate a more aggressive focus by the Iranian Government on terrorist activity against diplomats from certain countries, to include possible attacks in the United States."
In case that's not enough to frighten you -- and, really, how could it not be? -- some Very Serious Experts are very, very afraid and want you to know how Serious this all is. Within moments of Holder's news conference, National Security Expert Robert Chesney -- without a molecule of critical thought in his brain -- announced that this "remarkable development" was "very scary." Very, very scary. Chesney then printed large blocks of the DOJ's Press Release to prove it. Self-proclaimed "counter-terrorism expert" Daveed Gartenstein-Ross tapped into his vast expertise to explain: "Holder weighing in on the plot's connection to Iran means the administration is deadly serious about it." Progressive think-tank expert and Atlantic writer Steve Clemons decreed that if the DOJ's accusations are true, then "the US has reached a point where it must take action" and "this is time for a significant strategic response to the Iran challenge in the Middle East and globally," which "could involve military."
The ironies here are so self-evident it's hard to work up the energy to point them out. Outside of Pentagon reporters, Washington Post Editorial Page Editors, and Brookings "scholars," is there a person on the planet anywhere who can listen with a straight face as drone-addicted U.S. Government officials righteously condemn the evil, illegal act of entering another country to commit an assassination? Does anyone, for instance, have any interest in finding out who is responsible for the spate of serial murders aimed at Iran's nuclear scientists? Wouldn't people professing to be so outraged by the idea of entering another country to engage in assassination be eager to get to the bottom of that?
Then there's the War on Terror irony: our Hated Enemy here (Iran) is a country which had absolutely nothing to do with the 9/11 attack. Meanwhile, our close ally, the victim on whose behalf we are so outraged (Saudi Arabia), is not only one of the most tyrannical and aggressive regimes on the planet, but produced 15 of the 19 hijackers and had extensive and still-unknown involvement in that attack. If the U.S. is so deeply offended by the involvement of a foreign government in an attack on U.S. soil, it would be looking first to its close friend Saudi Arabia, where "elements of the government" were likely involved in an actual plot rather than a joke of a plot.