The headline reads: Happy people watch less television, researchers say

If it’s true that people who watch a lot of television are "unhappy", which I highly doubt, then I must be the unhappiest “people” in the world, because -- unless there’s a power outage -- there are so many TVs on in this house that you can walk from one room to another without missing a word.

Does that make me an unhappy people? NO!

I’d be unhappy if I missed one word of an important news story or a precious gem uttered by Keith Olbermann or Rachel Maddow.

The article, was written by John Robinson, a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, and appeared in the journal Social Indicators Research.

So what’s the prof’s problem and who paid him to waste his time studying this and waste our time reading it and possibly fretting over it?

Usually I can come up with possible sponsors of such inane studies, but not this time, except maybe newspaper publishers, because part of the study said that “happy people” read more papers than they watch television.

So what do I have to do now? Go on an unnecessary guilt trip because I watch a lot of TV to keep current on the latest news and opinion, because I WRITE ABOUT IT?

Does the fact that I also read a lot of newspapers balance off my TV watching?

How about at night when I’m too tired to read another word and I mindlessly flick through 200 channels -- more than half of which repeat themselves -- is that an automatic pass from “happy” to “unhappy?”

Oh, and another thing, what are the implication of the fact that I always fall asleep before having a chance to turn off that dratted awful TV machine that’s in my bedroom. That must make me almost suicidal.

Hey, prof, here’s a couple more stupid studies for you, since you seem to have nothing better to do with your time.

Who’s happier people who check their emails a hundred times a day or those who don’t?

People who read newspapers on line or those who get newsprint all over their hands?

People who have dogs or cats? Dog people are definitely happier!

People who drive to work or those who take public transportation?

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