The Teflon Magnolia

My how we are dumping on Sarah Palin.  Babies, firings, pregnancies, earmarks and legislative investigations are all crawling out of the woodwork.  Pundits don’t think she’ll last until the election; liberals are questioning McCain’s judgment in picking a poorly-vetted running mate.

Liberals and pundits both forget that this is a Karl Rove inspired campaign in which everything is done for a reason.  After all, elections are about image, not substance.

Look at a photograph of the woman!  She has Teflon written all over her.  She is the perky woman next door—solid, middleclass and evangelical.  Soccer moms look at her and see a neighbor who might drop by for a cup of coffee; NASCAR dads look at her and see a good looking woman who can handle a gun.

As for her daughter’s pregnancy, forget about it!  Evangelicals get off on stories of sin (conception out of wedlock) and redemption (her daughter’s going to marry the baby’s father).  Having the father show up at the RNC was a stroke of Rovian genius.  It’s all about family values.

As for the scandals surrounding her governorship, the spinmeisters can blow those off as the sour grapes of a corrupt Republican machine she refused to play ball with, thus casting her as a maverick reformer.

Do not think for a moment that the pubic cares about her lack of experience.  Eight years ago, a governor with absolutely no experience was appointed to the presidency, and in eight years that governor hasn’t learned a damn thing.  This only goes to show that experience is no longer a prerequisite for the presidency.

Not since Warren Harding has the Oval Office seen such incompetence.  Dumb presidents make for strong corporations, which is why Big Business loves them.

The bottom line is that when McCain croaks, our next president will be a woman who can shoot terrorists from an airplane with one hand, while signing anti-gay legislation with the other.

By Election Day, she will be America’s sweetheart and McCain will ride into the presidency on her skirttails.