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The Tea Party Congress's 20 Best Job Creation Bills

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Headlined to H4 3/19/11

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House Republicans have come up with a new gimmick -- putting the words "Jobs Creation Act" at the end of every bill in order to camouflage the real intent of the legislation. Here's a comprehensive list of all the "jobs legislation" the Tea Party Congress has  introduced so far:

HR 211: The Let's Make Social Security Really Hard to Get by Creating Tons of Incomprehensible Paperwork  Jobs Creation Act.

HR 675: The Harrassing Abortion Doctors is Totally Okay with Us Jobs Creation Act.

HR2240: The Let's Deport All Illegal Aliens Except the Ones Who Work for Us Jobs Creation Act.

HR 124: The Abolish the EPA Because We Don't Believe in Science Anyway and Al Gore is an Idiot Jobs Creation Act.

HR 555: The Protect Clarence Thomas from Impeachment Even Though He Deserves it because it Makes People Think We Like Black People Jobs Creation Act.

HR 776: The Let's Make it Really Hard for Women to Get Abortions Unless it's One of Our Daughters and We Don't Like Her Boyfriend Jobs Creation Act.

HR 766: The Let Lobbyists Hand Out Cash on the Floor of Congress Jobs Creation Act.

HR 43: The Let's Change the Country's Name to "The United States of Ronald Reagan" Jobs Creation Act.

HR 786: The Let Prisoners Have Guns Jobs Creation Act.

HR 111: The Smart People Vote for Democrats so Let's Fire All the Teachers and Close the Libraries Jobs Creation Act.

HR 44: The We Really Need a Statue of Jesus on the White House Lawn Like Right Away Jobs Creation Act.

HR 4456: The Let's Give All the Money in the Country Except Ours to the Koch Brothers Jobs Creation Act.

HR55654: The Lets Make the President Produce His Birth Certificate and Ten of His Favorite Bath Tub Ducks or We Won't Believe He's Really President Jobs Creation Act.

HR55A: The Let's Not Let People in Blue States Vote Anymore Jobs Creation Act.

HR5T: The Let's Gag Rachel Maddow and Lock Her in a Shoe Closet Jobs Creation Act.

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John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major (more...)
 
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Thank you so much, Mr. Blumenthal - I needed this!... by joanakelly on Monday, Mar 21, 2011 at 12:56:43 PM