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The Stock Market Sleeps With the Fishes

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By Tim Cerantola

So, what's wrong with letting the fox guard the chickens?

Well, as we’ve recently witnessed, when greed is left unchecked, the market becomes corrupt and unstable. This is a direct consequence of following “Chicago School” economic ideology – that wondrous capitalist philosophy of letting the market decide.

And now that the market has ‘decided’ to sleep with the fishes, dropping faster than a mob informant into the Hudson River, that’s when the so-called ‘masters of the universe’ throw their philosophy of unregulated avarice out the window and go begging the government for a wealthcare check.

Yes, the stock market, drunk with greed and corruption are essentially pulling a reverse Robin Hood, taking from the poor to give to the rich.

By the way, have any of you seen the chickens?

I believe they're being held ransom for trillions of dollars (and counting) - $800 billion for banks, $200 billion for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, $150 billion for AIG…

In my opinion, today’s bankers and financiers are not even human. They are merely a more evolved form of weasel, or neo-weasel. And, when you combine a bunch of greedy neo-weasels with a lazy bootlicking news media and a government full of corporate chimpanzees, you've got yourself a real stinking financial mess.

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US Secretary of Finance, Henry Paulson believes cash giveaways (of your money) to the mercenary, self-interested financial sector is the solution. Why not give a massive wad of taxpayer money to the same financially predatory, corrupt, selfish, piggish...  help me out here, I can't find the words... thieving scum(?) morally bankrupt(?) that got us into this financial chaos.

Did you know that the money hungry bastard in charge Henry Paulson, while at Goldman-Sachs, was largely responsible for packaging bad mortgage debt as assets and then selling them?

Did you know that, while at Goldman-Sachs, Henry made hundreds of millions in pay, bonuses, and stock options? 

Don’t you think that if Henry earned so much - he should put some of this bailout on his Visa Card?

Oh well, when the economy finally bottoms out (into hell), the lost jobs and rising interest rates on troubled mortgages will only compound the problem, resulting in more defaults and foreclosures, further impairing mortgage-backed securities and inevitably requiring Congress to demand even more bailout money from taxpayers - who are already in debt up to their pie holes.

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Furthermore, the creation and then payment of this debt (bailout) by the taxpayer will inevitably leave taxpayers with less to spend, causing the economy to drop even further, resulting in more job losses, less investment and, once again, a further downsizing of the economy.

So, as we watch this economic animal eat its own tail, one has to ask; does Mr. Wizbang Paulson really have a strategy to save our financial system from collapse?

Seems to me, Henry’s strategy has been focused primarily on his vested interests; filling his banker buddies pockets with cash or, put more succinctly, it’s business as usual. I guess when it comes to solving this economic puzzle, there just aren't many people with the right expertise, when the right expertise we need is honest brokering.

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Tim Cerantola's humour and political satire has been published in over 25 magazines and newspapers. When he is not pretending to be a writer, he works at a real job working with autistic and special needs children.

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