In a stunning victory the Tea Party has privatized air.
Democrats surrendered in a vote today while blue running dog Democrats joined with Tea Party activists to sell air rights to Bechtel and Halliburton in a no bid contract. Democrats conceded as usual for fear of breathlessness. By selling breathing rights to commercial interests, the Tea Party now has succeeded in privatizing all aspects of life on Earth.
Without a fight on the floor (which was recently privatized) Majority leader Wilfred Putzdamn surrendered without further arguments to avoid the appearance of having a backbone.
Air will be sold to the public in aerosol cans.
Tea Party activists celebrated their latest victory by vowing to outlaw Muslims, homosexuals, foreigners, tattoos, Jews (except Senator Lieberman) and non white people, and to privatize hope. The President was quoted as saying "Yes I could've" in the Mulberry Garden to a crowd of weasels-- being chased by monkeys.
In a shift of public sentiment manufactured by corporate interests, Democracy has also been privatized.