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The Case of the Swinger for President

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Some recent tidbits of information which have landed in the World's Laziest Journalist's inbox indicate that it may be time to write a column about the possibility that Republican Party may soon need to redefine their stand on the Sanctity of Marriage.

Item no. one is the fact that after admitting that he had asked his wife for an open marriage, Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina Primary.

Item no. two:   Playboy magazine is about to begin marking the fiftieth anniversary of the publication of the Playboy Philosophy series.

Item no. three:   A caller to the Norm Goldman radio talk show pointed out that the Republicans discredited Herman Kane because of clandestine love affairs, but the Republicans are giving Newt the old "See no evil" response for his request for an open marriage.   The caller automatically accused the Republicans of being racist in their diverse reactions.   It never occurred to that caller that the difference is the transparency of the need for diversity.   Kane relied on deceit.   Newt prefers the philosophy of openness and Swinging.

Item no. four:   We found our paperback copy of Gay Talese's book "Thy Neighbor's Wife."

Since a large portion of journalism in America these days is based on celebrity gossip wouldn't a Swinging couple in the White House be a godsend to the Political desks in newsrooms all across the USA?   Can you just imagine how enthusiastic the coverage of a visit by a Swinging first family to French President Nicolas Sarkozy's home would be?  Newt could elicit (not to be confused with the word illicit) comparisons to JFK by quipping to the press:   "I'm the man who is accompanying Callista to Paris."

Didn't the wife of a Canadian Prime Minister generate extensive gossip and criticism of her husband by being a fan of the Rolling Stones band, a few years back?  

Reality TV is very popular on cable these days.   Perhaps it's time for an adventuresome production company to make a deal with a swingers group?   How about a series titled "Return to the A-Frame"?  

If you think that despising the boss is a universal manifestation of a natural workers' tendency then you have never talked with writers who have gotten a check from Larry Flynt Publications.   Some Conservative Compassionate Christians may not (openly) agree with Flynt's liberal attitude toward sex, but isn't it remarkable when all of a fellow's employees speak well of the boss?  

Do people who get a chance to visit the Playboy Mansion brag about the experience or do they treat it as if it were a shameful incident which must quickly be forgotten?   Who doesn't want an invitation to visit there?   Would Bishop Sheen have turned down such an opportunity?

Are Hugh Hefner's employees inundated with requests for a chance to see their boss' home?   Is this year's Playboy Mansion Halloween Party already booked to capacity?  

Remind us to ask a former co-worker at the Independent Journal that question the next time we visit Santa Monica.

On page 220 of the Dell Book paperback edition of "Thy Neighbors Wife," Gay Talese wrote:   "The Berkeley Free Speech Movement in 1965, which forged   its slogan from the initials of a four-letter word ("Freedom Under Clark Kerr"), as well as civil rights protests in the South, and the subsequent anti-war demonstrations and marches on Washington -- the sit-ins, the teach-ins, the love-ins -- all were manifestations of a new generation that was less sexually repressed than its ancestors and also less willing to respect political authority and social tradition, color barriers and draft boards, deans and priests."

Wouldn't the people who graduated in the Class of 1965, just now be getting to be Presidential Candidate age?   What college did Newt attend?   Could it be that the flower power generation is just now getting its chance to do what they said LBJ and Nixon couldn't or wouldn't do?  

Is Newt just now getting ready to bring the party that once included George Romney, into the era of the Playboy Philosophy . . . or has Newt been "brainwashed"?

While we are on the subject, aren't all the top Republicans encouraging the current field of candidates to tear each other apart?   Crocodile tears?   Where are the candidates spending their campaign funds?   On ads, right?   Who owns the newspapers and TV stations around the USA?   Usually it's conservative Republicans, eh?   If the top Republicans are raking in the ad revenue stirred up by the continuing series of Primary cage matches and if the same media moguls plan to pull a fast one and substitute someone else as the candidate, then, metaphorically speaking, aren't a lot of donors to the various Republican candidates "getting their ashes hauled" by the "three card Monte" style subterfuge?  

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BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)
 

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