We hope your celebration (or lack thereof) was peaceful and bright. Now that all the gifts are unwrapped, the kids happily playing with their brand-new cardboard cartons, the eggnog gone, and the holiday fruitcake neatly tucked into the garbage bin, we can return to particularly wacky flying monkey madness -- er -- normal activities.
The McDonalds corporation has outdone itself in the last few weeks, proving itself completely out-of-touch with its employees. As reported on the website "Low Pay is Not Okay," if you recall, the fast food behemoth made headlines a few weeks back over it's "McResources" employee help page with a string of callous suggestions for its 700,000 "overstressed" workers, including that they should "sing away" their blues and perhaps take a vacation -- or two -- each year (on $7.25/hour). And that they could reduce their stress by 15% if they simply stopped complaining. Yep. McCorporate wants their workers to literally shut up and sing. Kind of surprising they didn't suggest dancing a jig or a soft-shoe.
A few weeks later the geniuses at McResourses urged their
indentured servants employees to supplement their income by seeking public assistance like food stamps and Medicaid, and if they were hungry, they should eat cake. They were advised to break their food into smaller pieces so it appeared they had more food, and to chew slowly. Oh, and they should also seek free food from shelters and food banks.
Of course, one obvious solution to workers who can't afford food or health insurance would be for McStingy to pay them a living wage, but now -- they would rather see their employees eat donated canned corn and get on the public dole than sacrifice a tiny profit for their top 1%.
The next rash of helpful tips on the McClueless advice page sounded like it was written by the demented love child of Emily Post and the Koch Brothers, as it included a handy, helpful holiday tipping guide. No, these are not the tips they should expect to receive for their food service -- of course they don't get tips, silly! These are suggestions for tips they should give.
For example, fast-food workers should tip their Au Pairs a week's pay and give them a gift from their children (perhaps one they did not sell on ebay to pay the light bill). Their pool cleaners should receive the cost of one pool cleaning as a holiday bonus. Their housekeepers should also receive one day's bonus pay, and their personal trainers, dog walkers/groomers, and massage therapists should all receive the cost of one day's service as a holiday tip.
You gotta wonder, where are the fast-food counter workers who live in the big houses with in-ground pools, housekeepers, massage therapists and nannies? McSeriously? This from a company that also suggested they eat tiny bites of food and chew slowly to fight the hunger pains.
Hey, the hungry staff can always eat at work, right? For a discount? Or free if they're kinda sneaky? Shove a burger patty in their apron pocket and race to the bathroom to snarf it down, right? Not so fast -- the latest sage wisdom McDonalds dispensed for its workers suggested that in order to stay healthy (and keep singing!), they shouldn't eat at McDonalds. Not kidding. Think Progress has the story:
"On its employee resources website, McDonald's offers workers reasonable if not unexpected advice for a healthier diet. McDonald's employees should steer clear of fast food, the website warns, because a meal consisting of burger, fries, and a soda cause weight gain.
"'Fast foods are quick, reasonably priced, and readily available alternatives to home cooking,' one post on the McResource Line site says. 'While convenient and economical for a busy lifestyle, fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight.'
"Illustrating this point is a picture of what looks suspiciously like McDonald's food. At 550 calories, McDonald's Big Mac delivers nearly 50 percent of one's daily recommended fat. That's not including the fries and soda.
"McDonald's defended the McResource posts, saying it has been "taken entirely out of context...This website provides useful information from respected third-parties about many topics, among them health and wellness,' they told CNBC. 'It also includes information from experts about healthy eating and making balanced choices. McDonald's agrees with this advice.'"
Has there ever been a more schizoid crop of corporatists? Take a two-week vacation, get on food stamps, tip your au pair and pool boy, sell your presents on ebay to pay bills, sing to relieve stress and sling fries for under $8.00/hour -- but for God's sake don't EAT them! It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, world, Truthseeker.