First we get Romney's Corporate Personhood. You know the big Corporate Persons are coming when you see the string of big Mercedes buses pulling up to the voting places and the shiny robots clinking off and lining up to cast their ballots.
Then we get Fertilized Ova Personhood. A fertilized ova -- a two-cell organism smaller than the period at the end of this sentence, should be given all the privileges and protections of American Citizenship, right? All the Republican presidential candidates think so. Does that include the right to vote? Having no brains, fertilized ova would be sure to vote Republican.
Now Rick Santorum wants to take personhood two steps farther. Building on his commitment to make birth control illegal, Santorum says, "After all, a fertilized ova is just one human egg plus one sperm, so if a fertilized ova is a person, I say that the egg and the sperm are persons also. So watch it guys. If you get too excited, you might spill a load of persons in your pants. And girls, now that ova are persons, and you aren't allowed to use birth control, I want each and every one of you to always be pregnant -- just like the Good Lord intended. Thirty babies each ought to be a good goal, right girls?"(1)
(1) The Santorum "quote" on sperm and ova personhood is my humorous invention, but, unfortunately, Santorum's desire to outlaw birth control is all too real.
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