Rush: Still Shovel-Ready After All These Years!

Seriously, you've got to love Rush Limbaugh. The guy is an American institution -- like a major investment bank, nationwide mortgage company, or neocon think tank -- and we all know how well those have worked out. Aside from college professors, who else could make so much out of so little to say on so many subjects? A true genius, for sure.

Following the "I hope Obama fails"- debacle, Rush bounced back with the tried-and-true "I can't wait until Kennedy dies"- sentiment. In light of these brilliant insights, I hereby urge Congress to pass the Rush Limbaugh Memorial Mental Health Bill. Indeed, we can cite his entire body of stellar work in the preamble. In the spirit of bipartisanship and equal-opportunity idiocy, here's just a very brief sampling of Rush's grossest hits:

On Race

"I mean, let's face it, we didn't have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I'm not saying we should bring it back; I'm just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark."-

"You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed."-

"Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."-

"The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies."-

"Why should Blacks be heard? They're 12% of the population. Who the hell cares."-

"If we are going to start rewarding no skills and stupid people "" I'm serious, let the unskilled jobs that take absolutely no knowledge whatsoever to do -- let the stupid and unskilled Mexicans do that work."-

On Gender

"I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, "-All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen."-

"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."-

"She comes to me when she wants to be fed. And after I feed her -- guess what "" she's off to wherever she wants to be in the house, until the next time she gets hungry. She's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life."-

"Women were doing quite well in this country before feminism came along."-

"We're not sexists, we're chauvinists -- we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want."-

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