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Life Arts

Republicans, pawns, and game changers

By       Message Bob Patterson     Permalink
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It's a game changer when pawns become bowling pins; it's a game changer.

Smirnoff is offering something new in the San Francisco market.

Artist Mark Petersen opened his new show, titled "game changer," at the "local 123 cafe" gallery in Berkeley on Friday March 16, 2012; the premise for the show is that 99% of society are pawns in a game being played by the one percent of the population that believes in a government of the elite by the elite is run for the benefit of the elite.   We took some photos of the artist and assumed that the philosophy underlying the works of art would provide a graphic metaphor for starting a column that would explain the results of this week's Primary Election in Illinois, which we were expecting.   When the final count ran completely contrary to our expectations, the lede for this week's column wasn't the only thing that needed a quick revision.

The World's Laziest Journalist has assumed that Karl Rove hasn't worked all these years for the Bush family so that he will get a prestigious seat assignment for the Inauguration of Mitt Romney as President in January of 2013; so when JEB endorsed Romney the day after Romney won in Illinois, it seemed that it was time for the various radio talk shows to use "A simple twist of fate" for their bumper music as the week drew to a close.

There are two ways to write political commentary.   You can either report your own personal thoughts and reactions or you can read up on other commentary and then make the choice to either follow the crowd or go rogue.   Since our access to TV and the Internets is rather limited lately and since our budget has necessitated a drastic reduction in our ability to read the New York Times on a daily basis, we have been forced by circumstances to go the "I column as I see 'em" route to forming our political opinions.

Our immediate reaction to Tuesday's election results in Illinois and the JEB endorsement story was to begin a search for a clever line that would casually mention Bishop Romney or to make some snarky remark about Mitt Goldwater or Senator Barry Romney.  

Are the Republicans really going to give the Presidential Nomination to a fellow who turns off a goodly number of their own voters?   Apparently they are.   Are the Democrats going to give their party's nomination to a guy who has put his imprimatur on the Bush war policies by adopting them with a Nihil Obstat rating?   Apparently they are.

Political commentary hasn't had to contend with a game changer like Tuesday's Illinois results since Linden B. Johnson told Americans, on March 31, 1968, that he wouldn't seek reelection.

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While the very convoluted contemporary political scene gets sorted out, what can a columnist write to amuse and entertain the dozen or so regular readers?   " . . . to forget, whatever it was necessary to forget . . ."

There will be a cornucopia of topics not related to the November election available during April because this year there will be chances to write about:   the one hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, the San Francisco earthquake, National Columnists' Day, the bombing of Guernica, the Columbine school shooting rampage, and the start of Winston Smith's clandestine diary.

We could also write about the Air Sex Championships scheduled for Tuesday March 27, 2012, at the Elbo Room in San Francisco.   It wasn't immediately clear if the Air Sex Championships is a band or a contest similar to the Air Guitar competitions.

Since Mitt Romney's middle name is Willard perhaps we could write a column comparing the November Election to the classic movie "Apocalypse Now"?   It's not difficult to imagine candidate Romney looking at the Obama legacy and responding to an question about the effectiveness of Obama's agenda by muttering:   "I don't see any methods at all . . . ."

If Willard Romney wants to project a "man of the people" image (on his Etch-a-sketch screen?) perhaps he should show off some bowling trophies?

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We could run a plug for a friend's automobile photos and then use that as an excuse for segueing into considering if we should send a query letter to the assignment editor at Jalopnik suggesting they assign a political pundit to test drive a new Ferrari or maybe just a chance to describe the sensations produced while operating a Zamboni.   Does anyone ever hold Zamboni races?   Would an assignment to cover such hypothetical Zamboni races provide a chance to write an allegorical novel about "a savage journey to the heart of the American Dream"?

Could a series of weekly Photo Reports on Contemporary Pop Culture pass as weekend wrap-up columns?

Could we write a column with deep psychological insights based on the fact that this week in San Francisco, we saw an advertisement for whipped cream flavored vodka?   Would anyone read such a column?   Would anyone care?   "What certainty had he that a single human creature now living was on his side?"

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BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)
 

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