Two moms grieve for the death of 4-month-old Gabriel by Google Images w/caption by Rev Dan
Gabriel did not die because his moms were lesbian. His death was
not the byproduct of homophobia. His fate was
not because of a violation of any legal custody issues. His story is bigger
than any of that. - Rob Watson,
Mother's Day evokes memories of dedicated love: a love so deep and pure that it transcends even physical attachment. I was born in an institution called St. Vincent's Infant Asylum and Maternity Hospital (Chicago) and put up for adoption from birth. My (adoptive) mother first saw me when I was 15 months old. I've never had a wish to know anything about my birth mother. I've never had reason to. Evelyn S. Vojir was my real mother, after all. A womb is not necessarily a mother.
Adoptive parents have always been held to a different standard: their desire to nurture a child seems somehow stronger, more definite than natural parents, especially if they will take ANY child that is given to them. But gay adoptive parents' desire to nurture has been called to question by the Christian Right, the meme "every child deserves both a mother and a father" being thrust forward at every moment of the gay adoption debate.
The Tragedy of Gabriel
The 17-year-old father of a baby boy who died just weeks after his
birth mother took him back from his lesbian adoptive parents has been charged
with first-degree murder.
Four-month-old Gabriel King McFarland was found unresponsive on April 22 by his mother after she left the baby in the care of his father, Drew James Weehler-Smith, at their Des Moines, Iowa home.
The boy later passed away and an autopsy revealed that Gabriel died of an abusive head trauma, which authorities say he suffered at the hands of his teen dad.
The motive for the murder is not yet known, but one obvious cause
of Gabriel's death is immaturity: immaturity and instability. A 16 year-old
girl's fecklessness and inability to carry out commitment has caused more grief
than joy. Her inability to ascertain the father's character was also a factor.
The video below goes at length about the causes of death and the circumstances, but the last two minutes may be the most telling of all: "why was this baby ripped away" from his loving adoptive parents?
Attorneys Everywhere - Protection Nowhere
One thing has come to light since the case was first reported: Heidi and Rachel McFarland hold their own attorney responsible for not filing the paperwork terminating parental rights.
"It's a two-step process. The first step is to file a
termination of parental rights. That process is normally started by obtaining a
release of custody from at least one of the two parents," [Ryan] Genest says.
[Genest is a lawyer specializing in adoptions not related to the case]
From there the birth parents have a limited amount of time to change their minds.
"Any parent that signed the release, there's 96 hours to change their mind. For any reason. If they fail to change their mind in those 96 hours they can ask the court to revoke their release, but at that point they have to show what's called good cause," Genest added.
96 hours is a far cry from two months - the entire time that the
McFarland's had baby Gabriel.
The McFarlands also paid for lawyers for Gabriel's birth mother and Gabriel himself. They now have no money ... and no baby Gabriel.
Motive vs Cause
The father, 17-year-old Drew Wheeler-Smith, has yet to enter a plea - let alone a motive - for the murder of Gabriel, but the motive may determine the physical cause: if he believed that mother Markeya Atkins had changed her mind again and decided to give Gabriel back to her adoptive lesbian parents, then the issue becomes one of homophobia, but as Rob Watson has said, the tragedy of Gabriel transcends many issues.
Homophobia. Immaturity. Attorney malfeasance. They may all have played a part in Gabriel's death ... and the McFarland's misery.*