RUN, DONNIE, RUN!

This is beyond fabulous. It is exquisite. Donnie Trump -- the flaming ego with feral hair -- is drumming up a presidential run for himself!

Just when you thought the GOP primary couldn't get any cheesier -- what with Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and others issuing sanity-curdling nonsense in a right-wing panderfest -- along comes "The Donald." The TV impresario and real estate huckster says that he's The Man for 2012, because he has the background to run our government like a business.

Whoa, Donnie, it's not nice to threaten voters! It is true that he has run several businesses -- right into the ground. Trump started in business right out of college with nothing but a dream, a driving ambition... and his daddy's multimillion-dollar real estate empire. He quickly turned daddy's large fortune into a small one, then he turned that into the first of his bankruptcies. But, with a real talent for hype, he was able to get enough capital from Wall Street speculators, subsidies from government, and secret settlements from financial regulators to paper over his business incompetencies and improprieties.

Just two years ago, Trump's casino operation went bankrupt, and he was tossed off its board of directors. Still, though, he has "The Apprentice," his unreal reality TV show. So, while Trump is not a successful businessman by a long shot, he does play one on television. And now, he wants you to help him take his cheesy act to the White House. How cheesy is he? The Donald has joined The Newt and Michele B in a pander-fest conspiracy competition to see which one can be the most clownish in labeling Obama as a Muslim who was born in Kenya.

Trump recently declared, "I'm their worst nightmare." He was referring to the Obama campaign, but he's really America's worst nightmare.