Punxsutawney Bush Sees Shadow. Experts Predict At Least Six More Weeks Of Hell.

(Picture) President Bush being held up by VP Dick Cheney in The Rose Garden

President Bush, who has been hibernating over the past months - either to keep from ruining John McCain’s presidential chances or so that he won’t royally botch up something else - emerged from the White House yesterday to comment on the broken economy announcing that “The American people can be sure we will continue to act to strengthen and stabilize our financial markets and improve investor confidence.”

He then appeared to see his shadow, and after momentarily being held up by Vice President Cheney so that all those who had come to witness the every four year tradition, retreated back into his burrow.

In other news, Bill Murray has signed on to play a fictitious president who wakes up every day to find that he will be once again be screwing up the country the same as he does everyday. “Next Day, Same President, Oh Shit!” starts filming February 2, 2009.

Award-winning TV writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com) and blogs at the appropriately named steveyoungonpolitics.com