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Palin Bachmann End Times by Modern Radio
As you know tonight is another Republican Presidential Debate. Another night of crazy is as crazy does. Another night of why Obama is a socialist commie who was secretly trained in a Muslim Madras for the purposes of destroying the United States of America. Another night of sound bites about how we need to create jobs without offering a scintilla in the way of concrete plans to actually do that. Unless you count giving more tax breaks to the rich as a job creation plan, which they do.
I have consulted my Magic 8-Ball about whether we would hear anything at all different tonight but the answer was "Outlook not so good." I then inquired if we would see and hear eight different people say essentially the same thing every Republican has said for the past 30 years while pretending to be original and the answer was "It is decidedly so." The last question for my Magic 8-Ball was whether I should try my hand again at a satirical piece in advance of the debacle of sameness tonight and the answer came back "As I see it, yes." As I stared into the ball of prognostication I thought how profound that answer was. It almost defines what we will see tonight.
Question: Do you think that cutting more taxes for the super rich will create jobs even though it is now a proven fact to be inaccurate?
Answer: As I see it, yes.
Question: Do you think that the role of government is to be inconsequential in the lives of the people even in light of the recent earthquakes, fires, and hurricanes?
Answer: As I see it, yes.
Question: Do you think that satire is the best way to represent the ridiculous views expressed tonight?
Answer: As I see it, yes.
Ok, maybe the last one is wishful thinking. As we head into the debate tonight, here are more dire predictions and things to watch out for"
1) Michelle Bachmann will open the debate by screaming, "Barack Obama is going to be a one term president!"
2) Mitt Romney will say at least three times, "No I didn't say that..."
3) Rick Perry will brag about how Texas has created the most jobs in the country, omitting the fact that they are largely minimum wage - do you want fries with that - jobs.
4) Jon Huntsman will be mistaken for Anderson Cooper; no one asks him any questions
5) Newt Gingrich will wistfully remember the days when he was once relevant. When one of the moderators points out that he is no longer relevant he will go into a five minute tirade about the press and then leave with a female staffer half his age.
6) For a fourth time Mitt Romney will say, "No, I didn't say that"
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