We - millions of us - must have misunderstood. During the Democratic primaries and the general election just past, I could've sworn I heard Barack Obama talking about - insisting upon - change. At least, I thought that's what I heard.

Maybe not. Maybe Obama didn't say "change" at all. Maybe he said, "Look, I'm not going to change anything except a few presidential staff picks."

Is that what I heard? Is that what you heard? I mean, look at the selections for key foreign policy posts announced today: Hillary Clinton at State; retired U.S. Army General James Jones, National Security Advisor; Bush appointee Robert Gates remains as Secretary of Defense. Um . . . wait . . . no . . .

Years ago, I remember being told (at least, I think I remember being told) - by mental health experts, no less - that there was definite and serious danger in ingesting too many drugs, in terms of both quantity and quality. Drugs could break your chromosomes; drugs could put your immune system to sleep; drugs could shred your capacity to file short-term memories.

Apparently, I didn't listen. I mean, I must not have listened. Because look at what's happening! My short-term memory seems to have a definite flaw. A big one. I swear a few months ago I heard Barack Obama promising change. Change! CHANGE!  And, yet, nothing is changing. It's all simply reappearing. Like the ghosts of Christmases past, moving about, chains clanking, foul odors filling the room, wretched wailing echoing down the hallways.

On the other hand, maybe none of this is really happening. Maybe it's all part of some truly weird pretend reality. Like the story of a temp worker getting trampled to death at a Long Island, New York, Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving.

Or reports of terror attacks in Mumbai, India, that left scores dead, hundreds wounded. Did that horrible stuff really happen during the past few days?

Did Barack Obama really promise change?

I know! Let's pretend we're going to do a radio talk show tonight. You pretend to call in and I'll pretend I'm hosting the program. Okay?