What did Palin and Karzai talk about, after that pleasant chirping about
Karzai's new child while the press was there for exactly 26 seconds? Do you still have a sense of humor? Since Reporters were kept out except for
photos, we have to wonder, eh?
This is what I imagined to have been their "photo-op" conversation:
Palin: "Oh, Hamid: don't worry about those 60 little Afghani children
killed last month in the missile strikes, because that, as we say in my
Alaska National Guard, is "acceptable collateral damage"; if you are still
bothered, come on up to Alaska and we can kill some moose, caribou, and wolves!!!! We have state paid for airplanes to shoot down from, kind of like in Vietnam, you know?"
Hamid replying, "Well, thanks, but for a while we, I mean to say: my brother, will be busy with the harvest in Afghanistan. You do know that my brother is one of the largest poppy growers in Afghanistan, don't you?"
Palin: "No, sorry, Hamid. My handlers, I mean my coaches, I mean my Advisors never mentioned that, but I do remember someing about that in my favorite magazine for keeping up on International Affairs, which is the National Enquirer. Hamid, you are always welcome in Alaska, win or lose. I made a similar offer the other day to General Musharraf to come an open a Pakistani rug store in Anchorage, but sounds like you are still going to be busy as long as you are still in power, right, Hamid?"
Karzai: "Whether I stay in power in Kabul depends entirely on you and John winning in November, but if you ever want to take a brush up course in Pashto or Dari, my native languages, please come to Kabul. I understand the Pentagon will be building a five star hotel in Kabul next year, like the one they are planning for the Green Zone in Baghdad, right next to the Green Zone Shopping Center they are planning. Have you been briefed on that one, Sarah?"
Palin: "Oh, thanks, Kabul that would be too close to Russia for a Neocon
apparatchik like me, (did I pronounce that right, Hamid: Kabul rhymes with Wobble, doesn't it?), and besides: looking at Russia and Big Diomede Island from Little Diomede Island in Alaska has made me an expert in all things international, according to no less an authority than Cindy. You know, John's wife....I think real soon on my Alaska governor's stationery, I should invite the entire UN to come up to Alaska to do some refreshing aerial slaughter of moose, caribou, and wolves, all from an Airplane, and they won't even get their hands dirty or bloody butchering the carcasses, so important to diplomats, you know. We will just leave the kill in the snow to rot...or maybe the Alaskan Natives, you know the people who live in Igloos, can eat the leftovers if they get their in time before they rot. Then we could take them off of welfare and invest the money in the stock market, kind of like what Hank Paulson is pulling for right now, Hamid?"
Karzai: "Well, best of luck in the campaign, and don't stage any coups!Americans don't like coups."
Palin: (whispering): "Hamid, what is a coo?"
Karzai: "Maybe we should let the photographers back in for another photo op like George and Dick and Karl and John all wanted so much for you, for you to appear to be presidential, talking to me, no less...."
Palin: "They're not going to ask me any questions are they, Hamid, those mean old reporters? John said he would keep them away from me. It was nice talking to Henry Kissinger. He sure is getting old, you know....I've been wondering this, Hamid: if you are a Muslim, why are you named after Ham? Aren't you supposed to not eat Ham, Hamid?"
Karzai: "Well, Sarah, there is just a little more to it than that, and you can ask about that kind of thing on that second trip to Baghdad George and Dick are planning for you....but you keep studying the back issues of National Enquirer, and make sure your daughter marries that guy, and maybe we will see you in the Oval Office someday, like if John's Melanoma, or is it Bell's Palsy, acts up for the final time!"
Palin: "Ok, Hammy! I would really like that. May I call you Hammy from now on?"
Karzai: "Sure, Sarah, if I can call you "MADAME MOOSEBURGER"?
THE CONVERSATION YOU HAVE JUST READ IS ENTIRELY IMAGINARY, AND THE NAMES HAVE NOT BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT.
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The politics of photo-ops and postponed geriatric debates are getting kind of disgusting, as I so humbly see things; do they think Americans are stupid enough to fall for these kinds of goof ball electioneering tricks and such blatantly phony photo ops? November 5 we will know precisely how smart or how stupid Americans really are!
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