Palin and Husband with McCain is Like a Disney Movie

The movie starts out featuring a grumpy old obscenely rich John McCain. He has no kids, he's been divorced 168 times, he's the fifth richest Senator with 2,497 different homes. He has all of the world's modern amenities and luxuries at his disposal. He's beleaguered by his political opponents and often dark and brooding on the campaign trail. 

Suddenly a child welfare agent calls on McCain at one of his Manhattan residences. She tells him that his 23rd wife died, leaving two orphaned children. Neither of them belong to McCain, but no matter. The agency is overbooked, and...well...would Senator McCain look after them until the agency can place them in a home? After all, it's Christmas.

At first, McCain tells the agent that he has no interest and begins to shut the gates to his castle. "Just...wait a second!" the agent insists. "They're here." 

McCain peeks out at the car and sees Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and Todd looking back at him out of the frosted windows of the agent's Crown Victoria. 

McCain reluctantly agrees to let them stay for the night, but only because it's Christmas. The two kids awkwardly shake hands with Grumps McCain and follow him inside. Shy at first, they get excited pretty quickly when they discover: "You have a roller-coaster in your living room?!?" Todd shrieks. "Awesome." 

"I want to go swimming in your wave pool and then your Olympic pool!" Sarah says, jumping up and down. 

"You kids need to eat and get to sleep," Grumps says, but you can almost see him smile in spite of himself. The next day, the agent comes back to tell him there's still no space. "Just until New Years?" 

So seemed the Palin kids (the Governor and her husband that is) in Ohio on Friday as they followed McCain around at a Buckeye souvenir shop. In one photo, John McCain is talking on his cell phone and enjoying himself for the first time in 45 years, while behind him, Sarah Palin examining shirt sizes and Todd Palin is doing something goofy for someone's amusement.

It's great that McCain has the kids out on a shopping spree for their national debut like the Dad so utterly devoid of family values that he not only gets a divorce, but he also, just to keep the kids amused, lets them watch whatever, eat whatever and do whatever they want. 

"John McCain and the kids." That should be the reference to the Republican presidential ticket. It's great that Palin is a hockey mom, hunter, mother of five, former beauty queen and on and on and on. She seems like an extremely charismatic person. The type of person you would want to hang out with. Maybe have a beer with. Wait a sec!?! Kind of like...George W. Bush?

It's irrefutable that Palin is attractive, makes up for the family values McCain lacks and does all the cool things "regular" guys like to do. The question is: Will the American people wager their personal futures on the better beer-drinking companion or on a ticket that has the intellectual fortitude and honesty necessary to run the country?

The blue-jean, regular-guy crowd simply needs to remember that there is no such thing as a regular blue-collar Joe running for president or vice-president. Reagan wasn't. Bush I wasn't. Bush II wasn't. If you are a Republican and you are running for president, you are part of the corporate elite establishment. No measure of air-brushing can cover up for that fact. Republicans put jobs overseas Americans out of work and global corporate priorities at the top of their agenda. 

It will be interesting to see how poll questions morph after today. It will be in the Democrats' interest to frame the question as I have. To allow the news media to do it will allow McCain the advantage. He will win on preparedness--a totally worthless category given that his preparation was gained in a Congress that 75 percent of Americans revile--and Palin will win on beer-drinking likeability. 

Why, by the way, are so many Americans in need of beer-drinking companions? Is this country really that pathetic? Do the singles websites really fail that badly? Do so many people really lack friends? Get a hold of yourself, America. Maybe its time to stop binge drinking on Tuesday night. Go to CHURCH!! 

I do fear for Joe Biden. I've heard it said, and often found it to be true, you can't win an argument (read "debate") with a woman.